A letter from Dec 04, 2024

Sikeeee Dearest, By the time you get this, I hope I’m within your sight, or at least somewhere close enough to feel the warmth of you. There’s so much I want to say, but somehow, every time I try, the words get tangled. I stumble over them, and what you hear isn’t quite what I meant. It drives me mad, baby. Writing, though—it’s my solace. It lets me unravel all the knots, pour my heart out raw and unfiltered, and then trim and tweak when it feels like too much. But tonight? Tonight, there’s no editing. No filters. No holding back. Typos be damned (and if you point them out, I swear, you’re shameless). I love you. I’ll say it a thousand times and never tire of it, never get used to how natural and yet how thrilling it feels. Loving you is the easiest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever done. I loved you yesterday, with every fiber of my being. Today, my heart is so full I feel it might burst. And tomorrow, I know—without a shadow of a doubt—I will love you even more. By the time you read this, I hope we’ve celebrated a year of us—a whole year of building something real and tender and utterly ours. I hope you can still feel the love in my words, the way I feel it in every moment with you. I hope we’ve moved past the storms of misunderstanding, grown through them, and found a rhythm that feels like breathing. I hope, with all my heart, that you’re still holding my hand as tightly as you did the first time I placed it in yours. More than anything, I hope we’ve built the life we dreamt of. Right now, all I want is to wake up next to you, to learn the rhythms of your mornings, to cook with you in a messy kitchen, to share the smallest and the biggest moments of life with you. I want to know the man you are in every light—in joy, in struggle, in the quiet hours when the world feels far away. And I want you to know me—all of me. My flaws, my fears, my quirks. I hope you’ve seen them all and still chosen to love me deeply, as deeply as I love you. I hope the thought of forever with me makes you smile, makes your heart light up the way mine does when I think of us. I hope we’ve accomplished so many of the dreams we scribbled down, laughing and planning for the future. I hope we’ve become better with money (yes, more me than you—don’t laugh too hard). I hope we’ve saved more than we thought possible, found new ways to grow, built a life that feels rich in every sense of the word. I hope our careers have flourished, and we’ve supported each other every step of the way. But love, I won’t lie to you—I’m scared. Terrified, really. You hold so much of me, more than anyone else ever has. Loving you this much, seeing you so fully, leaves me breathless and vulnerable. I’ve only ever loved like this once before, and the thought of losing it, of losing you, is a fear I can’t quite shake. But even in that fear, I choose you. Over and over, I choose you. I imagine us years from now, sitting together, looking back at how far we’ve come. I imagine the life we’ve built, the memories we’ve made, the quiet moments we’ve shared. I imagine the laughter, the arguments, the compromises, and the victories. And through it all, I see us—still choosing each other, still holding on. So here I am, laying it all bare. No edits, no filters, just the truth of how I feel about you. I hope you know how deeply you’re loved, how much space you take up in my heart, and how much I want to build a life with you. You are my safe place and my greatest adventure all at once. Anyways. You get the point. I win. I love you more.