A letter from Nov 28, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Welp, happy 23rd! Congratulations on making it to 23! I hope life is treating you kindly, that you're happy and at ease wherever you are. I hope the people you love and care about are healthy,safe, and still in your life. I received a letter yesterday, from 2023. A letter that said I won't ask about where you end up, because we'll know either way and asking only ends painfully. This time, I don't need to. I know ourselves well enough to know that we'll stick till the training ends. 2023 us would never believe we got into Taj. But we did, and it's hard. Training is tough rn, and I often feel like I don't belong in a kitchen. It's difficult, especially when you never feel like you belong anywhere. But that's the thing about us- we're, like, awfully resilient. We stick around, no matter what. I'm sure that will eventually find you your niche, no matter what that is. Don't lose your grit, and keep walking ahead. It's our thing now, and I know it's not going to change. Love is a touchy subject for us right now. It's easy to find lustful eyes on us, but love has never felt quite attainable, honestly. I'm not sure whether things will change within an year, but I hope you're having a blast either way. Past us would never believe the life I led in 2024, so I hope you got ahead and have a crazy wild time. Do all the freaky **** you've ever been into. Just have fun (and stay safe!) Give yourself time, and space. Be kind, as kind as you can be. It's not about any of that "no one can love you if you don't love yourself" ********. It's not for others, it's for you- you're the one who has to face the mirror everyday, and I'd like to think it gets easier if you like what you see. Don't cut yourself. Let the scars fade. I know it's hard. I know the urge to deepen the wounds never goes away. The blade always remains within reach but resist the temptation. People are proud of you for not doing it. It gets better, I promise. You can do it. I trust you. Treat love kindly but cautiously. Love the way you do, but not with wild abandon. Keep yourself safe and don't give people any power over you, but don't stop loving. Let yourself shine. You deserve that sparkle, and despite everything some people will always associate you with that brightness. Be that girl forever. Don't let the world dim it. And always remember that your past self is so, so proud of you. For making it another year, and for growing through it, no matter how insignificant it feels at the moment. I'm so proud of you. For surviving, for fighting, and for getting better. All the good things coming your way are deserved, and all the bad things will eventually get better. It's okay, babe. You got this. WE got this. You're doing well, I promise. Keep walking ahead forever. Grieve your losses and celebrate your victories, and keep hoping and dreaming. Sooner or later, you'll love where you reach, and you'll stay there forever. Some good things might be temporary, but some will eventually stay, and I hope you learn to accept them. Take care of yourself. Remember, the scars fading is a good thing. Heal. With all my love 💕