A letter from Nov 25, 2024

a love letter to myself, to the softest sweetheart who ever lived. i write to you this letter today to remind you, to thank you, to love and appreciate you. it has been you and i since the start, but it wasn’t always in this sense. i acknowledge how we’ve come a long way. i can finally love you out loud and behind in silence. i can call you my greatest love—because i wouldn’t be lying, it really is what you are. no one knows me as well as you do. i’m sure that you have done a wonderful job being the person that you are. i know you must’ve changed too. i know i’m not sending this into the far future, but a lot can happen in a year because i sure feel as if i’d lived a thousand lifetimes since last november. the thing is, i’ve been doing so good—so much that i falsely believed that i wouldn’t encounter bad days/weeks/months anymore. however, due to college and work, i’ve been starting to lose touch with the person i am. it’s not easy to stay on top of your work, have a social life, and nourish your own soul all at the same time. i’ve been having a hard time doing that, but it doesn’t mean that i give up. i am trying to incorporate my hobbies into any free time i can find, but its **** tough. i’m also actively trying to become a better version of myself, and while i see my validating results, it still gets draining. i want to be the person who doesn’t care, someone who lives with a free mind. i want to be nonchalant, to go on selfishly, thinking of only my desires and goals, but that’s not me. i believe that i’m still coming to terms with that fact, and the way that not all of us operate the same way. this heart, this love i give, the way i care, my passion…these are all mine, no one can do them as good as i do. i need to embrace them no matter what successful people say. i believe that i can be successful and still carry a good heart. i want that, so i will remain hopeful even when life taught me not to. if hope is all i have, then i’ll cling to it. i love you <3 and i know you’re doing a good job