A letter from Nov 27, 2024

Dear Future Scarlett, Hi it's been such a long year of loss, love and laughter and I wouldn't trade that life experience for the world. I've learned so much from the time I've graduated high school at Mountain House and started college at Pomona and I am just so insanely grateful that I've lived my life thus far and decided not to end my life in the many trying moments I've had. I still struggle with suicidal thoughts sometimes, and my depression is more heightened now than ever but I remembered that this form of self-expression and reflection exists and I wanted to take the time to remind you baby girl. You are worth more than how much you give yourself away to people who do not recognize your worth, you can't keep giving from an empty cup; when there is nothing left to give to people you steadily start to lose your sense of self. Don't give to people endlessly, it only makes you tired and angry. You are loved for who you are authentically, people love you for how much you shine when you're happy and how you bring your happiness into people's lives. Don't hesitate to let someone know that you need help, otherwise you keep all this negativity inside you and you will let it consume you because sometimes it's much easier to let it eat you up than fight against it. I want to let you know that letting it get to you is going to be so much harder for you in the long run and taking the time to fight against it actively will make you feel so much more fulfilled than letting it overtake you. You deserve to be happy rather than left to sit in your own pool and let it gather until it drowns you. There are people who love you and want to see you succeed. Don't let them down, live for them and give back what you can to them to show that you are grateful for the endless hard love and support that they channel into you. You judge yourself harshly and you think that you are alone in your greatest times of need. But I want you to know that you will always have a friend in me, I will always listen to you, will always love you, will always be there for you; as long as you let me in. Trust yourself to do the right thing and love and blessings will flow to you easily. Don't be afraid of hardship and challenges; rise up to them. If there is something you want; you're going to need to be able to have the courage to go after them even when there is seemingly no hope and a high opposition. I love you so much baby girl and I'm so tired of seeing you waste your potential and settling for fantasies and temporary joys. Take it one day at a time, be grateful for what you have and remember that life can change in an instant; do things that make you feel joy, do things that challenge you, do things that are influenced by love and admiration, do things that inspire yourself and others. Love endlessly. From the past, you.