A letter from Nov 25, 2024

Dear Arlo Isaac Linnard, Time really changes you huh, I mean maybe not as much by next year, but at least in the past year I can only assume my hormones have settled cause I really was a bit of a mess in last years letter. No wonder Yoshi said I reminded him of himself and that I decided I should get therapy. But those issues are basically gone now. For starters, I'm not currently con-crunching and dealing with the hell that was Birmingham thank god. Also while I'm not over it, I'm not as affected by Babina's *****. I wear her ring everywhere, I'll carry that weight with me, but that's just life. Since I told Yoshi to slow down with the height jokes I haven't really had much issue there as well, I mean I'm still jealous and insecure but not overly so. Never have me try on blazers with everyone else though I still feel incredibly **** about that. My hips aren't wide even remotely, my thighs aren't big, shoulders are...well. But it's not a massive issue outside of formal clothes. Plus I look cute as hell in a miniskirt (see Pop in 2 performance) Since moving in with Chris I feel less like I'm just being humoured by him, and the things he says that feel odd to me are actually just the regular neurotypical response that I'm just not super used to. I'm still jealous of him in a lot of aspects, it ***** me when he speaks fluent Italian knowing my pathetic Slovak, but two days ago he told me about his mother so it's hard to see him the same way. He's so extroverted and friendly and perfect in all ways except his face, but I'm slowly realising how much he doesn't let anyone see. First jokes about his nicotine addiction, now his mum. I'm happy he's started sharing more but it'll take a bit before my perception of him updates. I need to merge my two images and combine contexts. Like on Halloween he mentioned that maybe he should've done his mum's Christmas stocking since she never got one, it didn't seem like much then but knowing she passed when he was 18 makes the statement a lot heavier. Naturally I do want to talk with him more about it but it's not my place to start that conversation nor is it necessary. I want to know her name, what she looked like, family photos with them both, but at a certain point of searching online records I just think to myself "what am I doing?". I'm not allowed to tell anyone either, so I've only told my parents and Koi (I hope we're still in contact). I might tell Josie but I'm not sure, I was originally going to joke about how my response to the news was "**** new lore drop" but the subject feels too heavy to joke about so I'm not sure. I did text him a more respectful response later but I'm not sure he read it. Moving on, I've been on nebido about 21 months now and I pass as long as I don't shave. I don't think Owen or Josh know even though all it takes is a quick scroll on my Instagram which is pretty hype. My surgery scars are super light as well. I haven't been close to someone physically in a while since Yoshi hasn't stayed round my house in ages and at this point no one has seen him for over a month now, but at least I'm seeing him in 3 days to go to Hyde Park. I got a tattoo a week ago and I absolutely love it, I really hope it's healed well. Also in a couple weeks Josie is giving birth and in May Dan's having a child as well. Absolutely wild times. Meanwhile most of my disposable income is going towards Shadow the Hedgehog merchandise. I can't get enough of it. I'm still working which is fine but they're giving me too much so come exam time I'll request time off and I'll be firm with it as well. Uni absolutely sucks and I'm probably failing Bayesian. I'm definitely not getting 2:1 at this point but I'll at least graduate and that's what's important. I really enjoy living in Guildford though, I love my bedroom with all my plush toys and the living room with all my figures and the 3D printer. It's honestly the best set up I could ask for. And I like living with Chris, I'm rarely lonely but I've got plenty of alone time as well since no one ever uses the living room basically. I hope everything this next year has gone well for you, maybe you're even mentally healthier, or maybe you're making a Shadow cosplay, much to be excited for. Best regards, Academic Victim