A letter from Nov 24, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Today, we gave up love, how it's been untenable and painful to wait for. We have waited and waited, 7 years now. I thought this would be the year. It is not in fact the year of good love and foreverness. So we focus on our work and we become boy sober for real. We are boy sober now. We have left Mr Man (as Mora calls him). He returned my remote, I couldn't look ZS boy in the eyes. We ****** all weekend this weekend, and beyond the point of no return. The last week of November 2024. These are the last men with whom I will be intimate with. Not for room for a future lover but for peace. While I delete the playlist...I am sending it to you on some random day in 2026. 2025 is not the year either. We are tired of French exits and never the real deal. So we laser focus on our career and think of nothing else. We are a blank canvas for friends and family, a community beyond the eros. The hobbies we start up and the love of improving our your new home and love of and for ourselves... We leave behind the anxiety of confusing connections and let our dreams of love die out. This time honestly... we deny ourselves this but hope for alternatives. This means celibacy and we don't entertain men or any casual invitation for a false bottom love. We are on touch tank now we transition into Night Shift. My Duolingo streak ended and everything is crumbling I am on false gods now and it's hit me that I won't let hope out of Pandora's box. I **** it and we realize that some love or even an ounce of it is possible.... Blind faith....I might get away with it...I cannot worship a love that's not worked for me...this hope for love is a false God. Lover last! This magnetic force of a man to be my lover.....I promise to be true, darling darling you're my lover....all's that ends well to end up with you....should you ever find me....this is for you my lover.... A playlist was made and then deleted it. One will be made.