A letter from Nov 16, 2024

Hey, Today’s the 16th of November and it’s 10:06 PM. I don’t know what to write here, tbh. But yeah.. you’re still up because you got a graveyard shift job that screwed your body clock.. or maybe that’s just an excuse. Sometimes it still actually gets overwhelming; thought rush through your brain, it feels like you’re not getting sleep at all. A few days ago, a law-related book you ordered online was delivered, and through that you have given yourself an ultimatum. You have until May to figure out whether you can juggle between work, school, and of course your crazy mental health issues. You have already read a chapter, and so far you’re liking it. It’s just that… your concentration sucks, and you still don’t know how to keep on track with your ***** priorities. You’re easily distracted by things that don’t matter, like you know.. the stupid tiktok vids and pbb dramas on twitter (or x whatsoever).. and back to the concentration, yeah, you’re worse at it. and going back to sleep? you get at least 4-5 hrs sleep, and between those you get woken up at least 2 or 3 times ( according to the expensive smartwatch you just bought to monitor your sleep). You sometimes consider taking some of the antipsychotic pills left just to get enough sleep, cos you seem to have forgotten what it feels like to have a good one. and guess what — im proud of you for not being dumb enough to do that; not when you decided to suddenly stop your medications months ago just because —yeah, just because. (oh well i take it back — UR DUMB) that’s just it. i hope one year after writing this, u’ll be able to improve your train of thoughts because remember — people around you still think you’ve got the talent in pen and paper, so you better get the fck up and get back in track. Bye.