A letter from Nov 15, 2024

Dear FutureMe, So, here you are, reading this. I wonder what life looks like for you now. Did everything with Ujjwal work out? Are you laughing at my ridiculous overthinking, or do you feel this same flutter in your chest at the mention of his name? Either way, I hope you’re smiling, because right now, as I write this, he’s the reason my heart feels like it’s in overdrive. Ujjwal. God, where do I even start with him? He’s like this impossibly perfect storm that you don’t see coming, but once it’s there, it changes everything. He’s got this way of existing that makes the ordinary seem extraordinary. The way he talks, the way he carries himself—it’s like he’s got this secret rhythm, and I’m constantly trying to keep up. And don’t even get me started on his smile. Seriously, what kind of sorcery is that? I won’t lie, though. It’s been a journey. Sometimes I wonder if he sees me the same way I see him, or if I’m just a blip on his radar, a fleeting moment in the grand chaos of his life. It’s terrifying to think about. But you know what? Even if that’s all I ever get to be, I’m grateful. Grateful for the conversations, the stolen glances, and the way he’s somehow become this constant in my mind. Remember how awkward things were after I proposed to his best friend? Yeah, that still makes me want to crawl into a hole. But even in all that mess, Ujjwal was there. Just being himself, effortlessly making me forget how complicated life is. It’s almost laughable how much power he holds over me without even trying. Future Me, I hope you’ve managed to channel all this chaos into something meaningful. Maybe you’ve finally mustered the courage to tell him everything. To look him in the eye and say, Hey, I care about you more than I can put into words. Or maybe you’ve let things unfold naturally, without forcing it. Either way, I hope you’ve found some kind of peace. But let’s be real—knowing you (or, well, me), you’ve probably spent countless hours overanalyzing every little thing he’s ever said or done. Like that time he looked at you a second too long or laughed a little harder at your joke. You’re probably still holding onto those moments like they’re proof of something bigger. And maybe they are. Or maybe they’re just... moments. But isn’t that what life is made of? Tiny, beautiful moments that make the whole thing worth it? And what about him? Is he still that same mix of chaos and calm that keeps you on your toes? Does he still make you laugh when you need it most and leave you questioning everything with just one look? Or has time changed things? Whatever the case, I hope you remember that Ujjwal was, and maybe still is, a part of your story. A big, messy, wonderful part that taught you more about yourself than you ever thought possible. Here’s the thing: I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if you and Ujjwal end up together, or if this is just one chapter in a much bigger book. But what I do know is that he’s special. And no matter how things turn out, he’s someone who made your world brighter just by being in it. So, Future Me, here’s my wish for you. I hope you’re happy. I hope you’ve found love, whether it’s with Ujjwal or someone else. And I hope you never forget how it felt to care this deeply, this chaotically, about someone who made your heart race and your world spin. Take care of yourself. And take care of your heart—it’s been through a lot. With all my love, A dumb Zia