A letter from Nov 06, 2024

my love, This is not you from 2024, but just one of your versions in that year. A year has already passed since I wrote this. It's been a year since you repeated so many times to yourself that you wish you were dead. I gave you a hard time. I believe that whatever mistakes I made, you have already fixed them. Because that is who you are. You are the most capable, resilient person I know. You are a person that when life and yourself creates a lot of ****, you still find things to laugh about. I hope you still find little things to laugh and smile at. I hope that whatever mistakes I did, it didn't change how you look at things. So when you read this, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for holding on for us. Thank you for forgiving me. For taking that **** and still being able to look at yourself with kindness and understanding. BUT if your life is still **** when you receive this. Please listen and understand the following. Yes, it is right to be forgiving and kind to yourself. But please for the love of the universe and all beings, be MAD at yourself for not doing enough!!! Be mad, be relentless. Do not allow yourself to be just that. Because you are more than ******* capable but you decided to be in that ****. Remember, that you wish to be this free yet you are wasting your potential by doing ****** things. You need to live up to your potential. You don't have any ******* responsibilities but to yourself. So be embarrassed that you are living your life just that when you have all the time and knowledge in the world yet you chose to be just that. I am not saying that you need to climb the corporate ladder or be rich rich. I am saying that you want to travel and experience the world. You can. The only problem is YOU. So be ******* MAD. No excuses!!! Yes, we know we can get out of any trouble because that's just how we roll. BUT instead of using that knowledge to do stupid things, use it to be brave to conquer the world, to try things that scare you because it has big risks. What you are doing now is not even risks it is just plain stupid. So if you're gonna be stupid take the risks that might reap good results such as starting a business or just travelling even if you don't have the means. THIS MESSAGE DOES NOT MEAN YOU DIDN'T DO ANY GOOD. You did, you already improved a lot. But you can do more and we know it. You can be the better. This is not for anyone but you. I promise you, that when you can control your actions and mind, you are going to get whatever your heart desires. You just need to be ******* consistent and yes MAD. Use the power of emotions to drive you to be the best that you can be. Stop with the BS that you're chill because its not helping you at this point. I love you. We can do this. When you read this, create another letter. Lovelots, Ana (November 7, 2023)