A letter from Nov 02, 2024

Welp, it's 2 years later now. Big 2024. I'll be 19 in 5 days. Pretty crazy eh. I still feel like I'm 16 at most. It's truly a shame what has happened throughout the years, but what can you do, y'know? I think I should say this, just for myself. I'm sorry these things have happened to you. It wasn't fair. It's scarred you. But know this. You won't get an apology. These people will continue to live their life believing they truly have not done anything wrong. And y'know what dude? **** them. You don't need their closure. You need YOUR closure. There's no point to **** yourself trying to get something you know you won't get. And that's okay. You need to find peace within yourself before anything else mate. You are moving forward, and as much as I feel like I don't mean it, I do; I'm proud of you. At your core, you're a good person. You have done wrong, most definitely, but that doesn't define your whole character. The abuse you suffered doesn't define your character. You may mould yourself around these experiences, but you are not defined by them. You're a good kid. You'll be 21 when you receive this. You won't be a kid anymore. Those days will just be memories on the wall, and that's okay. I only hope you can improve from here. And hopefully, Halle will be alongside you while you do this. I truly love her no matter what's going on, and you both are made for each other. It's tough and it hurts, but, it will happen one day. We will be together eventually. I want to see you do well. I want you to find some hope. I want you to grab it and never let go. You're a good man even if you don't believe it sometimes. I want you to get some ******* help too. At the end of the day, mentally, you are just a kid who doesn't know how to handle these things. You will cry. You will hit something. But, you're human. You needed an escape. You find that in Halle. Being able to be real with her, being able to hold her and neither of us want to let go. One day you will find true peace in life and you will be able to forgive yourself one day. In the meantime? Just keep swimming, man. Progress is slow, but your mindset isn't. You just gotta keep going. You can do alot if you put your mind to it. And I want you to do that. And when you read this, I want you to know how much progress you've made. You're cycling. You're remembering your passions. You just need to stay consistent. Find discipline. Love to do what you hate to do. You've got this. Just keep going and don't stop. Love yourself and the others around you, because I know they love you. And, happy birthday. Good luck, Yourself. 02/11/2024