A letter from Oct 24, 2024

Dear FutureMe, I’m here again,currently listening to ocean eyes by billie eilish after crying and crying lol It’s not easy ,i thought i was over it all 😂😂it’s so funny because i thought i made progress This has to be the hardest thing or phase in my life moving on from something i love yes i regard to him as a thing because he left without looking back,he never loved me or cared about me..he only cared about himself his happiness which was not me..I’m hurt so so hurt like it’s crazy..the heartbreak i didn’t feel from him when he did it 2016 i am feeling it now like i deserve it..anything i do reminds me of him bringing tears to my eyes..i do miss him but guess what my heart is gradually accepting he is not mine even though it is the hardest thing to accept..it hurts really really hurts as hell i hope when i read this nobody is messing up with my heart..i hope i am genuinely happy and i forget he exists fr..because i have suffered especially this year coupled with mummy’s cancer and daddy’s heart issues and my brother liver issues..lol i hope when i read this they’re still alive because i am really scared even the person i need the most this period broke up with me..this time last year we were together happy..he never chose me,he gave up on me,he cheated,he broke me and still blamed me for it It’s been 3 months we saw each other but i feel it’s for the best..i am getting there i genuinely wish myself good things because i deserve it I’ve been a good girl all my life why do i have to go through this phase,why do i have to love someone who doesn’t love me… I just want to be happy fr..!!! Future me i am trying for us i am putting in effort to move on and accept to love myself first ,, I love u future me ❤️❤️