A letter from Oct 25, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Do you still want to die? Or have you found the happiness that you deserve? The happiness that you have been searching for. Shall I explain my life at the moment? As of right now, I am unhappy. I don't like the way I look, even though I am trying so hard to be happy with my body. I am unhappy with my life even though I love it at the same time. I am probably the worst I have been for so long. I keep relapsing, even though I am trying to get better. I tried to do therapy for a while, but I knew that if I said too much, they would tell my mother. I keep lying to my friends to keep them around. They all have such interesting lives, while my life doesn't go anywhere other than riding once a week. Which I love, in 4-5 days I'm getting my own helmet and proper riding boots. Which puts a smile on my face. Mother keeps calling me a negative person, even though I am trying my best to be positive in all situations. But it still isn't good enough for her. Nothing I do is good enough for her. I hope you get better. Keep trying to get better.