A letter from Oct 10, 2024

Dear FutureMe, hi ahren. If you get this letter it's been years. it's the tenth of October and we broke up two weeks agoish. I miss you, i miss you so very, very much. I'm okay, i do know that but i still write about you. I hope you're okay, and I hope you're happy. I'm okay but i miss you so much. It's been raining nonstop and i still think of you when it rains. It rains and I wish you were here to hold me. I went to the beach yesterday at night and i watched as people walked along the beach, and i wish you were there to be with me. I asked cooper what his dreams were. It made me think about what my own dreams are... New york, money and you. I think my only dream is you. And I believe i was your dream. I think I was the only thing you cherished, this sounds selfish and I'm probably wrong but I think i was the one thing you genuinely cherished. When I miss you i look through photos i have of you saved, usually from our calls. The way you looked at me haunts me. I can go everywhere, go to the most gorgeous places and all I can think about is how you looked at me like i was everything you had ever lived for. Brown eyes were just brown eyes until i fell in love with you. I'm sorry i miss you, I'm sorry for writing this, I'm sorry if it makes you remember me. I love you, I will always love you. No matter what, you'll be in the back of my head. I will always, always, love you. Do you know that **** quote, the "Have you ever gotten everything you ever wanted? No. but i once got very close" I once was very close... No i once did have everything I ever wanted, but not anymore. You let me go, and I let you go. I know you didn't want to, and I wish I didn't let you go. The first week without you was hell. I hated waking up and i hated morning. I hated going to sleep, i hated checking my phone, i hated rain, i hated everything that made me miss you. Because it meant you were no longer there. I want to have a wedding just so you can crash it. I miss you, i miss you, i miss you. I miss you and your curly brown hair. I told you how i'd cry myself to sleep when you were barely there, I've told you how much we hurt each other. But I haven't told you how I write down the sweet things you tell me, how wherever I go I only think of you. I hated fighting with you but by the end where we resolved things and I knew we loved each other more than anything, when you'd go to sleep and i'd read you silly stories. I miss you, i miss reading you silly stories. I found a silly book of children's stories the other day, and I wish you were still here so I could read you them and you'd fall asleep. Do you still think of me when it rains? Come home, come back, marry me and take my last name. Quit your job, run your fingers through my dyed black hair for the first time. Let me love you once more. All my love, Catalya Pettigrew. Text me sweetheart, call me cinnamon once more.