A letter from Sep 27, 2024

Dear FutureMe, After much deliberation, I have decided that this letter will reach you just one year in the future, rather than any longer timeline. I think this timeline is best considering my current uncertainty in the future, the many life developments that have happened, and possibly my own impatience to wait any longer for one of these past-me to you updates. The pre-college to senior year letter was well timed and unexpected, but I think this letter will reach you at a time when you have more figured out, hopefully. Right now I’m about to embark on an extremely exciting chapter in Beijing. The reality of school has not quite completely settled in yet and that is a little worrying maybe. 2024 has been extremely eventful for so many reasons and probably will go down as one of the most formative for you, but objectively that’s hard to say right now. These past 3 years have definitely felt like they’ve flew by. What a strange concept time is. You can be warned as many times as you want that this time period goes by fast but there’s nothing you can really do to slow it down. I know (hope) you’ve graduated now with a degree in Cognitive Science. I know how you feel about that, but any which way you shake it that’s still huge. I’m glad we chose to study something that we found was really interesting. I wonder how you have used it, if at all. I’m currently thinking about some kind of thesis or capstone but realistically, I think we both know that’s not happening maybe. I have dreams and wants to apply to med school but haven’t really taken any steps to do so, so I wonder how that’s going. Did you end up doing more school possibly? I have right now a strong desire to enter the workforce, but just like three years ago, the idea of what I want to do still sort of haunts me. But I think it is slightly more clear now than then. I think that desire to find stability might be slightly influenced by the first and extremely recent addition to your most inner social circle: 源喜。It’s funny how, pre-girl, you kind of imagine how different and better your life will be once you just find someone. Like most things though, your life kind of still just goes on. Don’t get me wrong, finding someone is super cool and you are happier, but other life problems still exist of course. Maybe now it doesn’t feel as sucky to see a couple and wonder what that’s like. Cause now you know! I hope that you’re still together and wonder how different your relationship is then than now. The long distance has unlocked a new emotion for you that’s hard to describe and even harder to clearly feel. For now I’ll just call it longing. And it kind of sucks. I hope that plans resolve in your future that include an end to the distance. I say this with an understanding of having no previous reference point and possibly rose-tinted glasses on right now: She’s good for you. I know you sometimes tend to think about alternate universes but know that what you have is rare. Feel you’re lucky, know you’re lucky. I would try to guess what you have ended up doing and where you ended up going but that feels impossible right now. Right now the train tracks on this line are running out and I hope you’ve found your next line to hop on and start chugging along. Then we can write a 2+ year one of these. Nevertheless, keep wondering, stay curious, and love life. Best, PastMe