A letter from Sep 26, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi, it’s currently 2024 and i am 16 years old. As you obviously know. I am in college doing sociology psychology and childcare. Did you drop out of any? Are you and Leland a thing? or did your avoidant attachment prevent you from getting with him? Right now i think things are getting worse, i can’t tell but it might just be the winter months. I’m planning to send this letter when you’re 17 but i might get impatient and send it earlier 😭. Your friend group rn is: isobelle, freya, charlotte, fran and gwen. I feel like i’m not wanted much there and sort of like the odd one out but it might just be me overreacting. I don’t even need to ask about amber because i know she’ll still be in your life. I have quite a few friends now aswell! College has really helped me and i don’t feel as bad as i did in high school. I’m just thankful i’m out of that environment if i’m being real. I think everything is getting bad again because the whole eating issue has gone bad. But it’s weird cause i’ve not considered myself disordered since i was 14 but yeah idk. I think this whole leland talking stage is bringing me back to old habits because you know what im like during relationships and how mentally ill i get. I don’t want it to be like that this time i really really don’t. But yeah honestly just update me on anything new as i really don’t have anything interesting going on rn.

Epilogue

12 days later

Hi! I’m dropping out of childcare next year which isn’t great, but i just realised it’s really not my thing. Me and leland are a thing, for...

Nhtmso own 6 udnroa. Hdar niesc h’avnet gsea ,kisc rvye nbee s’he eesn nad rleayl drha s’atht kile in imh. It terund inaga ttouyfnnrulae veor alot i ahs tbh od adn uhtrs ’mi fele atehmntatc lla into tiondvaa ,struh 41 hicwh natetmatch like ounsxia. It notd’ nbee ti, chmu ta ctn’a am ’sti itkhn hetn veen i sutj vhae ers,ay nca i um egt i rtniwe i thon,ms aws’nt so omer lla so tub htyrpae i i hte to i eocp deser,psed pbselsoi ghuorht iktnh ssrededpe olarjym going want to ,gceloel okya ’ist mi’ rfo yitaxen ni i veha but. It oelv yhvt’ee uyo adn caerl htat ttha rpogu etyehr’ daem cumh sllti iglvaen ifredn ni tno as myleterxe dna otu ehyt i’m oyu. Iefl sey ’ontd rouy neev erfeovr ask nede beram ni si to. I i boyd hknit the igrtnsva tuigl ateing ma ’dont nto esfl blmrpsoe dan rae btoua lefe eyfsml i m’i ignaytnh elxertyme so keil i my alniyttionenl bd,a nvweeehr sa sciocusno btu ate ntnoretlauyuf mhcu. Sha adme lnlmtaey os pliirhentaos idgatn uspl utb lfaut bda ill ouy ldeanl nda ylexrtmee i yhae hte you lil ist’ cbka ton tnhik to woh hs’e sihtab, rutbhog shi ahs. Dno’t knwo ot od tahw i so lyrlea. So hsa onsthm nhogtni hda yluck ’evyou o,n heaepdnp eseth in so ’tis ot roy’ue ngigo uhcm relaly rdha xsi pmonchreed. Tno anytulnftroue kooignl eidd, nnnay ni smum oodg and adn si’t oatiphsl.

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