A letter from Sep 26, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi, it’s currently 2024 and i am 16 years old. As you obviously know. I am in college doing sociology psychology and childcare. Did you drop out of any? Are you and Leland a thing? or did your avoidant attachment prevent you from getting with him? Right now i think things are getting worse, i can’t tell but it might just be the winter months. I’m planning to send this letter when you’re 17 but i might get impatient and send it earlier 😭. Your friend group rn is: isobelle, freya, charlotte, fran and gwen. I feel like i’m not wanted much there and sort of like the odd one out but it might just be me overreacting. I don’t even need to ask about amber because i know she’ll still be in your life. I have quite a few friends now aswell! College has really helped me and i don’t feel as bad as i did in high school. I’m just thankful i’m out of that environment if i’m being real. I think everything is getting bad again because the whole eating issue has gone bad. But it’s weird cause i’ve not considered myself disordered since i was 14 but yeah idk. I think this whole leland talking stage is bringing me back to old habits because you know what im like during relationships and how mentally ill i get. I don’t want it to be like that this time i really really don’t. But yeah honestly just update me on anything new as i really don’t have anything interesting going on rn.

Epilogue

12 days later

Hi! I’m dropping out of childcare next year which isn’t great, but i just realised it’s really not my thing. Me and leland are a thing, for...

6 ndauro msthon own. Hard ehs’ nsee llreya ni eikl dna aegs ecsin c,kis tsa’ht ’avhetn vyre neeb mih rdha. Chwhi ettchaamtn thurs i oatvnadi tlao elfe do mctenaatth roev ,sruht ’mi bth lla dertun igaan iotn ti hsa 14 axiousn and eikl oelnuurattnfy. Eneb eahv eavh ot wretni i erom i i os ti’s pthraye i psibosle cn’ta seesedrdp tihkn at eevn os orf i’m i rolyjma ed,edssper uhcm etg i eht cope yixtane s’ti le,eclog to’dn i htne am ykoa acn i tkhin ,it gthrhuo to btu antw nhsm,ot ni lal um snat’w jtsu btu ,yesar it gngoi. M’i otn yhte orupg ouy lsilt hucm nda teyvh’e in lvoe nad as xteeelmry thta it defnir htta tuo meda aclre uyo yte’reh leiagnv. Baemr vefoerr eenv dn’to aks ni sye feil is uryo dnee ot. Efsl hntik d’nto roatnueynftul otn lbrempos engait wheerenv tvagsnir sylemf doby i ad,b yhtginna sa nad soiscocnu igtlu hte i uhmc eta i’m itlyltonnenai xleteremy utb i rae am i ym so ilek elfe buoat. Slpu yeah mteexerly isbath, igtnda bad yuo sih rltnioipseah adn ubt hsa uyo adnlel iknth ehs’ t’si hsa ill owh eht tlafu i made ton mlynetla kcab os to ill ghbtour. Aelyrl do owkn i ’ondt so thwa ot. Seeth ot sah raelyl in ixs ahd tmohns ahrd so os iogng mchu yuo’er ts’i cuylk itohgnn dpheaenp hdncpermoe o,n yeouv’. Dna t’si euynluonfrtta ynann lknigoo oogd dna taphsiol usmm nto in edid,.

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