A letter from Sep 26, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi, it’s currently 2024 and i am 16 years old. As you obviously know. I am in college doing sociology psychology and childcare. Did you drop out of any? Are you and Leland a thing? or did your avoidant attachment prevent you from getting with him? Right now i think things are getting worse, i can’t tell but it might just be the winter months. I’m planning to send this letter when you’re 17 but i might get impatient and send it earlier 😭. Your friend group rn is: isobelle, freya, charlotte, fran and gwen. I feel like i’m not wanted much there and sort of like the odd one out but it might just be me overreacting. I don’t even need to ask about amber because i know she’ll still be in your life. I have quite a few friends now aswell! College has really helped me and i don’t feel as bad as i did in high school. I’m just thankful i’m out of that environment if i’m being real. I think everything is getting bad again because the whole eating issue has gone bad. But it’s weird cause i’ve not considered myself disordered since i was 14 but yeah idk. I think this whole leland talking stage is bringing me back to old habits because you know what im like during relationships and how mentally ill i get. I don’t want it to be like that this time i really really don’t. But yeah honestly just update me on anything new as i really don’t have anything interesting going on rn.

Epilogue

12 days later

Hi! I’m dropping out of childcare next year which isn’t great, but i just realised it’s really not my thing. Me and leland are a thing, for...

Nduroa onw 6 hmtosn. Ebne k,csi ellyar sha’tt vrye ardh in nese rdah egsa esnci ’tenvah imh eilk she’ nad. Ikle eefl dan bth od over 41 tlao drnuet it hcihw ttamhtaecn ivndoata ahs itno iaang iasuoxn httentaamc ntuatyfuelonr all i ’im ruths su,hrt. Inthk it eahv dedpessre elgcelo, tsi’ erahytp c’ant i so heav ta but i ot dto’n i i the to ers,eddsep goign epoc ipeobssl ea,rsy i i nxeyati but i atwn os lla tkinh i ykoa then nt’saw in hsntmo, am ’sti ’mi for eevn hhgruot umch egt ,it mu sutj nretiw can rlamoyj orem bene. Tuo lsitl you pougr oyu thta atth and ’hyetre eirfnd emrlteyxe ovel dan sa ’im muhc ehyt it h’tevey not rleca aedm inalgve in. Oyru dene ni yse foeverr sak bmaer ndot’ elfi eevn si to. Ma utlgi body neynloanitlit suoisccon nad my obtau eht tnayhgin aer lfsemy btu besmolrp d’tno hknit i sa vgnraits tno elef lfse i evhewrne hcmu like tnaflyurotnue dab, getnai so im’ tea leeymxrte i i. Uoy so ackb ditnag hwo xreltyeme ktihn i shi tbu ton ot ouy upsl lil abd lil ahti,bs hsa lndale dna taufl ptihaeronisl ’she ehya yamellnt tbhruog sah meda eht ist’. Od nkow i erayll to hawt ’tdon os. ,on os aylelr eu’yro to sxi oeuy’v shnomt adh in rahd ecdrohpnem pnpehaed eseht hsa os clyku uhcm ’sti htionng oiggn. Dan st’i lokonig and dgoo umsm ni annny ltsihpao tntrnfalyueuo otn id,ed.

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