A letter from Sep 26, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hi, it’s currently 2024 and i am 16 years old. As you obviously know. I am in college doing sociology psychology and childcare. Did you drop out of any? Are you and Leland a thing? or did your avoidant attachment prevent you from getting with him? Right now i think things are getting worse, i can’t tell but it might just be the winter months. I’m planning to send this letter when you’re 17 but i might get impatient and send it earlier 😭. Your friend group rn is: isobelle, freya, charlotte, fran and gwen. I feel like i’m not wanted much there and sort of like the odd one out but it might just be me overreacting. I don’t even need to ask about amber because i know she’ll still be in your life. I have quite a few friends now aswell! College has really helped me and i don’t feel as bad as i did in high school. I’m just thankful i’m out of that environment if i’m being real. I think everything is getting bad again because the whole eating issue has gone bad. But it’s weird cause i’ve not considered myself disordered since i was 14 but yeah idk. I think this whole leland talking stage is bringing me back to old habits because you know what im like during relationships and how mentally ill i get. I don’t want it to be like that this time i really really don’t. But yeah honestly just update me on anything new as i really don’t have anything interesting going on rn.

Epilogue

12 days later

Hi! I’m dropping out of childcare next year which isn’t great, but i just realised it’s really not my thing. Me and leland are a thing, for...

Wno 6 nhtsom udnaor. Iescn i,kcs mhi theav’n klei ellyar dan snee gsae hrda ni ryve been esh’ hrda tt’hsa. Ntoi i anthattecm htetmcntaa ahs aunsiox elef dtnuer m’i hhiwc itnodvaa dan taol do agian lal eikl ruhst rts,uh hbt 41 tontyeulfunra ti erov. So ewtrni easry, it i utb so ma ubt ta ni even ktinh ’atcn gte omt,snh uchm geclo,el to veah i wtan to i yaok eseperdds t,i htourgh i ioggn remo i anc hten orf peoc ss,deepder het mi’ lla i eebn um sit’ nhtki i yoajlmr ’notd esilopbs wn’tsa tusj ts’i i ptrhyea evah nxaiety. Vh’eety in emda ttah nda uoy ton eyht yh’teer sa htat ugrop lecra im’ it emerytxel ltsli mchu niefrd gvleain and olev otu uyo. Ni vene ask ryuo sey ofrvere ot is brema ened d’otn elfi. Utilg adn but yrmtxeele smfeyl ikthn nto aer cmhu my nthanygi i am adb, eelf aitsgnvr wnveereh ekli os lreanttyfuuno occuissno i ’ontd sa tyiatninlleno tuoab i eat i iategn m’i lmeobrps slfe dboy het. Lil lil plus ,iatbhs yuo ti’s mlyeltan iktnh elndla fluat ihs heay sah ndatgi gbrohut ot i ohw kabc niisherptlao ahs adb adme eth nad tbu os eteymlrxe ont e’hs yuo. Otn’d os yralel ot do wtah wkno i. Ou’yve ts’i eshte os sthnmo yor’eu ingog to emedcnohpr ahs dha rylela os ,no six uckyl aphepnde ni nhntgoi hmcu rhad. Lognoki uyntornteaulf in smmu adn its’ nnnay d,die ont and ashtiolp ogdo.

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