A letter from Sep 15, 2024

Hi Piyal, Today I'm going to pretend that you're alive & you're here on Earth with us. I'm going to pretend that you're just in another country, studying abroad and being a personal trainer in a gym you fancy because the alternative is too painful. It's almost 18th. What's on the 18th you ask? It's Piyal's ***** anniversary. It's the day I didn't wanna pick up my phone. It's the day which chokes me even today. After almost 4 years, the pain doesn't lessen any more. Do they lie when they say that pain gradually fades with time? Because it is so not the case here. His ***** is living proof that I loved him more than he could ever love himself. I don't know how he is now. Did he get his peace? Or is he being tormented on the other side? I can't see him in pain. I can't see his pain, I never could. I was young and naive and didn't quite understand the lengths to which he went for his addiction. He needed the drugs as his sustenance. They all blame him, for being weak, for not fighting; but did anyone ever ask what he needed, or if he was okay? Or if he wanted a shoulder to cry on? NO! You all judge him, you all judged him since minutes after his *****! Could no one ever see his pain? Did no one ever look at his eyes? You people have judged him more than you have ever judged yourselves!! You were quick to shift the blame, but what about all that he went through? He had feelings, he had his demons, he had his darkness, his problems ... which might not have been meaningful to you but were dynamic to him! He called me his best friend and honestly, I go by the same. He is a brother I lost, and I love him to bits. I can't stand it when people disrespect him in any way, shape, or form. The love I have for him outweighs the guilt of not being able to save him - at least that's what I pretend. I love you, Mr Piyal Choudhury. You're a crazy, paranormal ************ (now an entity I can speak w if I had the means). Live your life now? I hope that you're not being tortured, cause I can't bear that thought! Hopefully, now you can sleep in peace, I know how sleep was the only thing you desired & it's a reason why you did what you did. Show yourself to me sometimes, eh? - in my dreams, as an aperhetion ? I'd love to know that you are here right by my side. I miss your warm hugs, but honestly, cold hugs are fine too!! xd I miss your dumb *** and gorgeous laugh. See you soon, and until then I'll try to ' live free' as you said in your scrawny handwriting! You know ... The nickname you gave me? Rits? No one calls me that anymore! I wish you would come back & call me Rits. Enough about sad ****. I wanna tell you something about my life. Well, you already know that I'm doing my Masters, & in our university we have this event - Serendipity. It's a day when us final year students bring their parents/siblings and showcase them a programme made by the 2nd years for their parents! I would like to invite you to our serendipity. You know, serendipity means sudden happiness and as the Director of Creative - KYLF, I want to show you my work, how I've decorated the hall, how my creative flow (which you loved sooo much) has come to life, how everything just pans together and falls in place! I love you a lot re, I love you a lot & I miss you astronomically! Please come back na Hritun! I don't want to live in a world that doesn't have you in it. { তুমি এই চিঠি পাওয়ার সময়, এই পৃথিবী টোক 6 বছর ধরে হারিয়ে গেচে } - Your bon, R i t s ...