A letter from Sep 15, 2024

Dear FutureMe, hey there! it’s 2:45am for me currently. the day i move into my uni accomodation. nothing is packed, not any clothes, any of my personal items. i need to shower, deep clean my room. there’s so much stress that i left until the last minute, i wanna ask if you remember how you managed with this? and i hope we don’t get ourselves in these stressful situations as much in the future. but knowing us, and how we always leave everything last minute, this mindset won’t change anytime soon. still don’t know how i managed to get into ucl …. i’m not sure how to feel, i had a falling out with someone a few days ago — and in consequence have isolated myself from my friend group. it feels lonely, especially when only a few have reached out to talk to me before i’m leaving. it hurts. it’s made me question whether the friendships i’ve had with people were truly real or if it was just a one sided thing on my end. i love too much. i expect too much from people. i never really get the same in return. i hope things have been resolved by now. if we even are all still friends and keep contact in the future. i doubt so though. i’m scared for the future. my childhood is no more, my life of innocence and bliss with no commitments or problems with contracts for rent plaguing my mind. i’m terrified and keep overthinking of if can even fit in my uni, even fit in with the people on my course, or any of societies i join. i mean, coding is in my course?????? an anthropology course???? how the **** am i gonna manage that???? did you end up getting a part time job ??? i hope you had a go at getting that job at pureseoul. or even blankstreet. OR EVEN THROUGH THE STUDENT UNION!!! omg also how was seeing the jeremy bentham room and his body in person? was it disturbing? amusing? did you burst out laughing or were you left speechless???? i’m so curious for your reaction my obsession with matcha has been going strong for 9 months now, that’s a whole pregnancy cycle. are you still into it? how’s keeping in contact with the family? i hope we’ve put in the effort to visit often despite how hectic our schedule may be. i hope things with yedidya are well. i wonder what nugget is up to, i wonder if he’s grown bigger from now. he’s having his moody awkward teenager phase now, not for long now because he’s approaching adulthood. i hope he remembers you, i wonder is he still a shy and anti social cat? i hope you still email ms butt, and managed to get a hold of mr brockwell, ms sheffield and mr mackay in some aspect. are your prospects of being a lawyer / passion for politics still ongoing? i really hope they still are, if it’s been something i myself in the present have been dreaming about for 3 years, im sure it’s still persisting today. anyway, i hope you got some joy just from reading this letter and being reminded of all the events leading up to this moment of me typing it all up and you’ll look back being reminded of how stupid it all was, or how meaningless my current worries to you may be. i wish for you to recall your past memories and look at them with fondness instead of sadness like you’ve been doing for the past few months.