A letter from Sep 09, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Hello Rosy from the past. It's been awhile. Thank you for your letter and your concerns. Let me answer your previous questions. Let's see... it's pretty lonely here in Windsor. I haven't made any friends which is understandable as I am socially isolated. And for the record, no, I am not in a relationship. However, I did/do love someone. Though they are no longer in my life, I still have love for them. I am also currently talking to someone. He's very sweet to me, so loving and caring. But I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. My lash business no longer exists but I did get a new cat! His name is Ash but we like to call him Cash haha. Unfortunately, I am not making bank. I am, but kind of not as we're looking for an accountant at the moment. The worst time this year would have to be when I left someone I love dearly. I still do have love for him and I hope that they're better off without me. I was also the happiest with him. I guess he's someone I deeply care for. Maybe in the future, these feelings would subside but linger. I haven't tried any new things if my memory serves me correct. But I did travel. I visited my family in Iowa and met my cousins. I, unfortunately, do not have my full license yet. Dream body is a work in progress. Hey Rosy from the future, I hope you're doing well. Much well than I am right now. To be honest, I'm not sure how to describe my state right now. I'm still in the process of figuring out what I want to do with my life. There is one thing I'm sure of though. I want to help my loved ones, I want to support them, I want to love them and continue to love them. I will always give to my loved ones; whether or not I receive any back. I want to be strong like that. I wonder why my family does not come to mind when I think of my loved ones. Do you think that makes me a bad person? I feel like I have a lot in my mind, but I have nothing to say. I still dream about her though. I saw her last night actually; she committed suicide. I woke up feeling scared. I wonder if I ever cross her mind; I think I do. Regardless, I really do hope that she's in a better place; mentally and emotionally. Do you think that maybe she was your first love instead of him? I think about love often. Whether or not I'm truly capable of loving someone. Why does a part of me always believe I'm undeserving of love? This feeling is so familiar.. since I was a child. I'm not sure if I'll ever find love, and I don't know if I want to. I've come to accept that I'll always look at love from afar. I'm happy to see people happy. I hope that I can continue to be kind and giving. The gift of giving. Have you love anyone new? What memories have you made with them? I would love to hear more about it. You know, love is something we've always struggled with. That's okay though, a lot of people do. And you're not alone. I always feel so alone. I wish I could comfort that little girl who was always lonely. She masked her loneliness with anger, to appear strong. Though, deep down she just wanted a hug. Hey, life goes on. We must carry the weight of the past and push forward. Days pass, the sun rises and the stars continue to shine in the night. Have you found your passion in your career? Whatever you decide, I know that you'll do good. Tell me about your career and plans for the future. It would be very helpful to hear about them right now. I'm almost at a loss. I wish the abyss would just engulf me. I pray that I continue to grow kinder and stronger each passing day. Meet new people, continue to love and experience life as a girl in her 20's. Maybe the collections of memories will make me shine like gold in the night too. Happy Birthday, Rosy.