A letter from Sep 05, 2024

Hi M, This is you from the past, when they are so stressed and and burnt out and need to write to someone that cares. Who could be a better choice than you, me in the future? I'm preparing for the SAT, there's just so much things to do and I feel stupid. I feel like I'm drowning in in everything. It's not just SAT, it's my future. I'm in such a critical point rn, deciding my future, affecting my family, and do things to get the future that I want. I can feel myself slipping from the core values of mine, I feel lost and I cant seem to remember/feel the purpose of my existance that I was so proud I figured out sooner than most people. I guess this is what happens when everything is just so unstable. Also, I feel like my friends secretly hate me. I'm scared to ask for the confirmation because what if it's right? I would rather be blissfully ignorant but I'm not nonchalant enough to not let the possibility stress me out. Regarding my fuzzy future, I'm glad at least I'm not the only one feeling like this. Most my peers struggle with the same issue, although on different levels, of trying to figure out their future, of trying to do so many things to secure what they want, of being scared they're a burden and failure. In the grand scheme of things, I guess it doesnt matter that much. The future holds so much uncertainty. There could be a war next month, I can be dead next week, the earth might be unhabitable to humans next year, my city can be oblilerated tomorrow due to the incoming typhoon. I dont even know anything anymore. There're videos other means of documentations, I know this is a hard time but also a should-be-memorable one. 05/09/2024, M