Happy Birthday, Mama!

Dear Jacqui, I just read through all my past letters starting with the first one I wrote at 12 years old. They all seem to have been written by a child addressed to a child. This is the first letter I'm writing with a different sense.. maturity? Agedness?? It doesn't matter. I'm sure when I come back to read this letter in 10 years I'll still imagine that same child writing to her imaginary friend again. Happy 32nd birthday! We are officially knee deep in our thirties and to be honest I really don't feel that different than I did in my late twenties. I don't understand why thirty is such a big deal. Although I guess I did just write that I feel like some older wiser person now. But, let's be honest, that has nothing to do with age and a lot more to do with the arrival of a certain 6lb 110z little boy on December 27, 2023 at 0900. Before I get ahead of myself, let's cover the traditional 2 year recap! I wrote my last letter as a newlywed 28 year old ER nurse living happy as a clam with the absolute love of my life in Jacksonville, FL. We had just lost Dad and Mom was staring down the barrel of fresh widow-hood. Justin and Taran (and Becca and Abbie along with their husbands) were all growing their families and making babies on a pretty much biannual schedule. All my best girlfriends (Thack, Molly, Raleigh, Melanie, Shannen, Yushan) were living their lives married, dating, or otherwise and generally being the best, most supportive crew I could have asked for in the wake of all the change going on in my life. They say the first year of marriage is the hardest, but our first year was the absolute best! Living with your best friend and doing generally everything together was only made sweeter within our new covenant of marriage. We went on our honeymoon at Secrets Maroma Beach near Cancun and it was such a good time. We have never been so pampered and catered to in our lives! In December we celebrated our first wedding anniversary in Savannah, GA staying at a fancy hotel. We did an amazing farmers market brunch cooking class and went to our first improv comedy show together. We even got pulled on stage as a couple to take part - it was such a great memory (one to tell the kids someday). That first year was otherwise spent with family and friends, going on dates and having fun at home together. I can't really remember anything too specific about that time, but I remember being so perfectly happy. Doug is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I do hope that you love him even more by the time you read this! By early 2023 it became clear that a move was on the horizon and we packed our bags to head to Unity, Maine! We bought our first home on 2.5 acres and we absolutely love it here. In the midst of all this, I started school to become a PMHNP and.... I got pregnant! We weren't really trying, but I was ready to get off birth control and get the ball rolling. I figured it would take us at least several months, but no. Gabriel Douglas Reynolds had different plans! We learned we were expecting in late April just a couple months before our cross country road trip to our new home. By God's grace and protection we made it safely and got all settled in well before Gabe's arrival. Being pregnant and moving far away from friends and family to a town of 2,000 people was not the smoothest transition to motherhood that I could have imagined, but I'm grateful for the experience and so so grateful for my sweet, smiley healthy little dude. I won't recount every detail of my pregnancy and Gabriel's birth (I don't need to - what an unforgettable experience), but I will say that it was everything I could have hoped for. Healthy, unmedicated, quick recovery, easy breastfeeding journey. Little Goobey is 8 months old now and such a joy in our lives. The transition to parenthood was rough on both Doug and I and I can't say I was entirely prepared for the gravity of parenthood and the level of care and commitment a baby demands. Regardless, Gabriel is everything to me and so much more than I could ever deserve to be blessed with in this life. I can feel God refining me every day, more and more, as his mom. My love for that little boy has taught me so very much about the Father's love for me - that lesson has been my favorite thing about motherhood. I feel like I'm rambling a bit, but how does one concisely write about such a life changing event? Anyway, we're all doing so well in the Reynolds family right now! I'm working toward graduation, Doug has just started working toward his business degree (a secret with a surprise graduation announcement for his mom and dad hopefully sometime soon) and also preparing to apply for Officer Candidate School. We've added a beautiful fire pit and a raised bed garden to our backyard with plans for a chicken coop this fall. We love visiting all the farm stands and agricultural festivals here in our rural area and we're really embracing the small town life. The dogs absolutely love it here, weather included -Hamilton seems to age in reverse when the temperature starts dropping and Phoebe isn't afraid of the snow after all. Gabriel is growing so fast and we've been discussing adopting a daughter in the coming years. Is that still the plan? I hope so. Even now with everything going on - school, career plans, a new baby - I still get so caught up sometimes in the idea that my daughter is out there somewhere waiting for us. Maybe she isn't even born yet, but I can still feel her heart. It brings me to tears just thinking that she might be out there somewhere alone without her mama and daddy, just waiting for us to find her. I pray that God is protecting her and preparing the way for her and I to find one another and that He is drawing near to her and comforting her until I can scoop her up myself and show her how loved and wanted she is, even now. Maybe by the time you're reading this letter, you'll know who she is or maybe she'll be there beside you. Gabriel is going to be such a sweet big brother some day. Uncle Justin can teach him how. Maybe we'll be in Charleston not too far from him by the time this letter arrives? I really couldn't even guess at this point where this letter will find us - and isn't that just the best? So that's life right now. You're a mom and a wife. You're also a nurse and student. You're a daughter and a sister and friend and you have so many different hats these days that are all pulling you in different directions at times. Regardless of the challenges, the busy days, long shifts, running around, finishing assignments, working in the garden, caring for your baby, stealing away for moments alone with your husband, keeping up with the house, remembering to cuddle with the dogs every now and then... it's all so much right now, but it's all so, so good. Speaking of those dogs, Hamilton and Phoebe are sitting on either side of me right now snoring away. How is Hammie holding up? Before there was nursing school, before there was the ER, before there was Doug, Phoebe, and Gabriel.. there was Hamilton. Love is so funny sometimes. I have so much of it. Happy 32nd, Mama. Jacqui Taylor Reynolds of August 2024