A letter from Aug 27, 2024

Dear FutureMe, While writing this we are pregnant with our first little baby. It's so unbelieveable that in just a year our biggest dream of being a mum is finally coming true. Right now we are at 15+1 so we don‘t feel the baby move yet. It‘s completely unreal and right now I honestly can‘t even fully grasp that I‘m growing our tiny little wonder. I‘m sitting at work, fortunately with not a lot to do so I can focus on writing this. In just a few months we‘ll be holding our daughter or son (right now we were told it's gonna be a girl most likely but who knows what the future will bring). My head is bursting with things to do, things I need to buy and think of. Tom is chilled out. I think he‘s excited but also not fully grasping this yet. I hope once we‘ll be able to feel mini move in the belly it‘ll make him bond more and also make the whole siuation more real for all of us. I‘m honestly looking forward to being you so much. I hope we‘ll be able to take baby on their first holiday in summer or autumn? Maybe Greece with my parents to visit the family? Or Italy with just Tom, Baby and I? Just enjoyjng the beach and enjoying being a family and a mum. I hope we are doing good! I‘m so nervous still that something might happen, that baby might be sick or I‘ll lose them or they‘re gonna be born and die suddenly because they stop breathing. I know that worrying is normal, I just hope I‘m not manifesting anything bad to happen because it would completely break me. I also worry that motherhood is going to overwhelm me, that Tom and I are going to be fighting, that baby is going to be screaming constantly and that I will fall into depression again. If you are reading this, in one year, I hope you can just smile and wish you could come and comfort me right now and calm my nerves, tell me that everything is going to work out and that I don‘t need to worry so much. I hope you enjoy being a mum, I hope you love this tiny being with everything you are and that it makes you grow closer with Tom and Buddy and that we are a happy little family. And if you are struggling, please know that I‘m trying my best to unlearn unhealthy habits, learning to communicate my needs better and going to therapy to be prepared for bad moments. You are living our dream, little Lena in Kindergarten dreamed of this moment. We‘ll be alright, won‘t we? I love you, I‘m proud of you! Please kiss my baby (including Buddy) from me. See you in a year!