A letter from Aug 27, 2024

Hello. I don’t know where to share this so I am posting this anonymously. A bit of a background, I grew up not being with my parents since they were separated. I was raised until elementary by my grandma and started working as a nanny for different people when I was in highschool just so I could have a place to stay and continue my studies. I started renting on my own when I was in 3rd yr college. I graduated 2 yrs ago and working currently for a private company. I am quite close with my siblings on my mom’s side since they are still young. So here’s the tea—- I am helping them monthly with groceries and at times gives allowances. I am also the one who usually pay when we go out and celebrates their birthdays. I recently had an argument with my mom, she said that I was rude to her just because I am the one providing for some of their needs and she’s just letting me be because I am the one who have the ‘money’. She even said na ‘pinaplastic lang kita kasi nahihiya ako’. When the truth is all I am saying is she should look for a job to sustain their needs instead of gambling. When I am overwhelmed by the presence of my family, I feel bad when I’m being rude to them so instead of telling them to go away I am the one leaving. I do not celebrate my birthdays anymore with them instead I travel alone. I don’t know how to respond and not be labeled rude again. I don’t know if I am asking for any advice or I just I want to rant because I have no one to talk to. But please know that this group made me feel okay at times. Thank you.