A letter from Aug 25, 2024

Dear FutureMe, I'm twenty six. It's like the moment I turned twenty six, suddenly everyone had voiced their expectations, and how I'd somehow disappointed them. I live at home with my mum, and I don't think that will change any time soon. I used to be really close with my mum and my older sister, they would know everything about me. But lately, I think they might be too stuck in their own past, traumas and healing and are not focused on the present. They are unmotivated, and pass on all their own life expectations on to me. My extended family keep expressing their disappointment that I haven't saved them "financially", that I'm not married and do not have kids. I feel like I'm just learning how to be an adult right now, navigating through life and the corporate world. At twenty six, I'm now learning how to have difficult conversations and set my boundaries. I do have a boyfriend of 4 and half years, but neither of our families are particularly accepting of this as we are from different religion, culture and race. I've never been in a relationship that makes me feel so secure, safe and loved for being me. For now, they've learnt to be ok with us making one another happy, but they still stay far away from the topic. While my mum has mentioned subtly about me moving out in front of other family, privately she keeps insinuating the opposite, for example, every time I go on holiday she messages me how much she misses me and emotional paragraphs alongside it. Does she still do that, or have you moved out? If so, is she doing ok with being alone? Financially, each time I make a significant saving, I fall into a position where a family member is in need and I need to send it to them, putting me back to square one. If you are still doing this, please don't. Everyone has their own husbands, and old enough children, the burden is not on you. Your sister needs to learn to stand on her own two feet, you can't be financially supporting like you have for years. Despite it feeling like family is what's holding me back, they are also the ones with the greatest demands on me. No other family member of mine has been to university, or worked in the corporate world like I do, or had any real financial independence. All my friends are in similar boats, either in post-graduate education, navigating their careers, or getting engaged/married. I don't feel like I have anyone to show me the way for me to get to that financial freedom. Someone I met on holiday last week suggested I invest in S&P 500. That's the first financial advice I've ever received. Have you done it yet? Was it a good decision? Right now, I'm worried that everyone's expectations will get into my head and soon I'll be disappointed in myself too. I'm currently about to turn down an internal job 'promotion' I was offered. Despite it being £10k salary increase, it's an area I'm not interested in, with a team that is incredibly difficult and rude to work with. My family really wants me to take the job, but I believe my happiness is worth more than a job switch that will make me miserable. I've always believed that if you have a job you love, you'll naturally excel and work your way up. Moving to that team, to do a job I have no passion for, doesn't align with my beliefs. I understand that some people may use it as a stepping stone in their career, but I would likely be so depressed doing that job, that it's not worth it. Did you decline it after all? If so, do you regret it or are you happy with your decision? If you are in the same position one year from now, please don't lose your spark and motivation. Life is stressful, expectations are hard, but stay grateful, happy and healthy. Focus on yourself. Things will work itself out, and everything will fall into its place like it's meant to. Love from, past you.