A letter from Aug 23, 2024

Dear Mariana from the future! How are you doing? I hope you're doing great. I hope you're having a nice time, I hope you have a good job, I'm trying to do courses in order for you to be able to get a better and nicer job, and I hope you have really fond memories of that trip to London that you're currently fighting for. This sucks, huh? You never thought that it could turn this bad at home when you were 18. But here you are. You only had 6 months away in college, then the world turned on its axis and you were back home, about to go through some of the hardest times in your life. And you tried. And it kinda ****** you up a little, yes, but you did your best, and still to today, you've done your best. Your mom did you so bad today that your stomach can't stop turning, it's awful. And you have her phone, and she's talking **** about you to a man you don't know, and that man is also talking **** back, and your mom is allowing him to do so, while also cheering him on to do it. It's hilarious, and heartbreaking, because you thought you had gone no contact with the people who have damaged you the most, but it's both your parents who turned out to be just that! And I do know that it gets better, it was almost a whole year that you were over there just last year and you weren't bothered by any of your parents. You know that, out of sight out of mind for them, but right now you want two things, and to get both of them, sadly, you have to be here. Cisco didn't work out, sadly. Maybe in HP it would have, and I wouldn't have ended up so traumatized if I had actually stayed there (which sadly, wouldn't have happened in a universe where Cisco chose me). It's just devastating, actually. How Cisco didn't give me any platform to be there. I literally couldn't even imagine myself doing the work, it was crazy. And it sucks. And I'm here now. And I'm sort of resting., but am I? I'm literally in my very own version of hell. But well, I'll keep going, because I really do think that London has the potential to be amazing. And yeah, basically. I think I'll go run the last errand my mom asked for and rest a little, because today has been absolutely terrible. Good luck Mariana, I really hope you're doing better in the future.