A letter from Aug 19, 2024

Dear FutureMe, A year from now (as I am writing this letter) you will be in your final year of high school. A part of my life that I wish I could reach one day. I can't believe I've made it this far, and what's worse is how far I can take it anymore. I'm tired, being in this school that I spent all school year anticipating and setting expectations of. This was suppose to be my bright beginning, yet here I am worse than I could have ever imagined. I always think of myself as strong. Strong for always being able to get through everything, literally everything. And I'm tired, I told myself not to be scared, because atleast this time my friends are restarting with me. But I feel so lonely, and it's all because of this school, this supposed dream school of mine. Everybody always says reach out and we're here for you but everytime I do I feel like a burden, nobody responds fast enough because they're all busy with their lives. What if they're too busy to respond when it's my final call for help? I can't think positive anymore. Everytime I tell myself it' going to be a good day, it turns out bad. Everytime I push myself out of my comfort zone it always end terribly. I'm tired. I'm so tired. I can't believe I turned out like this, the exact opposite of the person I promised myself I would become. I'm the only person who could help myself get out of this situation and I'm too weak to do anything.