A letter from August 16th, 2024

Dear God,
If I can ever find out what is wrong with my body, figure out why I can't sit still, why every muscle fiber in my body hurts so bad every minute of every day, why I can't sleep anymore, why I can't fish anymore, why my body is always so sore and painful, and finally find some way to make the torment of my pain stop, I promise I will never complain ever again. I promise I'll never use medical cannabis again. I promise I'll never give another excuse to not exercise. I promise l will do whatever it takes to stay pain free. I promise, God. I promise with everything I have left in me. Just please, God, help me find a way to make it stop so I can be a husband again. So I can go outside again. So I can sit still in a chair for more than 3 minutes again. So I can sleep. So I can travel again. So I can be in nature with the animals. I promise with everything I have, God, I promise I won't ever waste the gift of permanent pain relief if you can please just help me find it, because I have become so lost in the sea of handicapped existence, I don't even know how to swim to shore anymore. Please, God. Please. Help me find a way out of this painful existence. I love you, Father. I promise I will stay sober even while I wait. I promise not to do drugs or touch a pill, drink or needle again. I promise to protect my life and the lives of those around me. I promise I will keep helping people in therapy while I wait. I promise to never give up hope. I promise to worship you every day. I promise to be grateful for every gift I receive, big and small. I promise to be a loving husband, son, friend and brother, and I promise to fight with everything I have, no matter what. These are my unconditional promises to you, God. Please, I'm begging you, don't let me suffer like this any longer. I'm on my knees, an injured, defeated human being. I'm desperately begging for your healing touch, God.
Love always, your son, Al.