A letter from Aug 15, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Thank you for not doing it. I want to survive tomorrow, so if im reading this, it means i did. Im scared, i dont know what life is going to be like, im scared of reading my past letter, im scared of the future. Life's not totally amazing right now but I'm holding out hope. You're gonna be okay, it's going to be fine, I hope things aren't too different by now, I don't like a lot of change :) but I think change can be good too, despite my past reluctantance on believing so. Just keep on going, your doing great, you always manage to get through stuff somehow, like a cockroach 🪳 or a Nokia brick 😭 I want to live, I do, I'm still actively suicidal, I don't think that's ever gonna change, I'm a walking contradiction, but there's still so many things I want to do with my life, I want to go to places and see the world, I want to watch the new season of stranger things, I want to stay in love, I want to have a kid and live out in the forest in a pretty house with Glass stained windows with a tree swing out in the back, I want to prove I can be an amazing parent, build treehouses, paint their room, play with them, braid their hair, tell them it's okay for life to get like this, because it is, it's normal and you're not alone. Do not mess this up, please. It doesn't have to make sense, nothing does, you're 17 and I guarantee you STILL feel 14, you don't have to have it all worked out just yet, okay? This world is beautiful, enjoy it while you can.