A letter from Aug 15, 2024

Hello, Rainbow. I just wanted to send an email for my future self, I don't really have a topic in mind neither a date but I just wanted to write. I feel really happy right now. I don't know why. Considering all that has happened with friend problems esteem problems, I feel better than usual. Even now, I feel like I don't deserve this happiness,but I accept it instead of straying away. I don't know, maybe i'm just distracted, but after doing a domestic task I haven't done in ages, washing the dishes with music, I feel like I was away from everything. Whenever this finds you, I hope you are well. If you are not, please remember me, get up and drink some water and have a snack, even if you think you don't deserve it. I feel like I could love everyone right now, I want to do everything all at once. Please, Future me, don't give up. I want to learn the flute, I want to be a psychologist, I want to learn more about flowers and weird history, I want to know it all. I want to love it all. I feel like I want to be alive and not just surviving, and even if you don't do all of that, and just settle for an easy life, I still love you. You are alive, you are living.I know myself better than myself, and I know you know you can love too. Don't make the same mistakes I did, tell your friends you love them, go out and play int he grass, eat the cupcake you baked yourself. This year has been hectic, everything weighed me down and honestly, some days I felt like bleeding out on the toilet would be better, but I never did it, I was afraid. I was afraid I would not meet you. I was at rock bottom but I pulled myself out, and if you are in that pit too, remember that we did it before and we can do it again. Maybe I am just distracted, or maybe things like my weight, face, friends, money, grades, and everything else doesn't matter anymore. I will keep trying, but I will not keep straining. Everything will work out eventually, trust me, don't force the waves to stay still, embrace it. I love everything, and I love you. Now do your homework, by Rai