A letter from Aug 11, 2024

Dear FutureMe, I’m getting worse again, I’m feeling left out and useless. I know I’m from a normal, happy family that everyone would always dream of, but it’s like, I don’t deserve it. I got great childhood, great condition to grow up not to be repeatedly anxious, hardly get over my own mental health problems. I feel like I should have died, left the opportunity for another soul who can turn out be better than current me. It’s been the total 7 years, I haven’t been brave enough to open up, promising it would be better, promising the next birthday I am a normal girl. Another thing I want to remind you is that today is a certain boy’s bday. We’re nothing more than friends, we have some similarities, enough to share our problems. I’m grateful, he saved me in some last days of freshman year by his dedication. He was depressed, saying he also glad to know this side of me. We’re both the one always smilling in class. I’m hoping I can have a talk again, I’m afraid I would be the burden. Plus, he has a gf. I really shouldn’t contact him anymore. So myself, how are you these days? If you’re here it’s either you’re at your breakdown or someone found you.