A letter from Aug 11, 2024

hello older naiya sitara s. uy ! this is naiya sitara s. uy speaking. right now its a sunday. august 11, 2024. i have to study for my tests but ive been procrastinating. came across some of our old letters, teared up a bit. i miss when nothing mattered all that much. we are currently in 10th grade, torn between pursuing our passion (humss) or a practical and safe career path (stem). i hope you figure it out, if you do, i hope you are happy about your choice. im still in touch with khia and kio. im still friends with stacy, jacob, diane, and rosheena. not so close with them na tho, i hope you keep in touch with them. i just told kendrick our age after having been lying to him for so long, he understands and he forgives me. hes an amazing older brother figure to me and i love him and owe him my life. me and neil are the best of buddies, im glad hes my cousin. he just confided in me a couple of days ago and i feel so bad for him, i hope at the time you are reading this that he is better. im scared of graduating, im scared of change. ive been in this school for 10 whole years and ive accustomed myself with all the people here. the ones i used to look up to-- karls batch, tylers batch, all of the older batches above me, they have all moved on and are in different places in their lives. all the seniors i know have left chong hua and now i am the senior. it feels kind of weird. i want to go to adzu to get a fresh new start, but nobody knows me over there. it would be a big change and i dont know if im ready for it. ill miss being in the same campus as most of my friends. ill miss seeing the same people everyday. ill miss seeing my batch mates who im not so close with, the people i walk by in the halls, the teachers, the children running around the basketball court. i have nothing ahead of me, i feel. i might be dead by the time this is sent. or maybe homeless, unemployed. i am trying ti be a better version of myself. im trying to control my anger and be a nicer person. its hard, so so hard, but im trying. i should be studying right now my gosh. please tell me youve kept in touch with most of your friends, and if you still talk to neil. tell mama, papa, niamh, tani, mami, dadi, amah, and everyone else that you love and appreciate them every single day. enjoy your time with them. please. i hope right now you still talk with aaron, jamie, gracie, daneen, mary, and all of our friends right now. i love you naiya. i know youre reading this right now and i dont know maybe youre crying, but if ever you miss the version of yourself that is writing this letter, if ever you miss the person you where at this moment, remember that i cant eait to watch us grow and that ill be happy no matter who we become. i am proud of you, and so are our family and friends. you may have changed, and i hope its for the better, but know i will always be proud of you. you are amazing and capable of anything, be aware of your worth even though we are probably two different people, our hearts will always stay the same, and so will our memories. although we may have nothing in common anymore, our common ground of remembrance could be our yesteryears, when we were only just a child. in baby naiya, we could share a bond, because no matter how much older we age and how many times in this life that we change, we will always find ourselves her. she will always be within us. she is proud of us, and she lights up a room with the smile on her chocolate smeared face. so keep your head up, keep smiling, keep going, life is short and i hope you get to do everything you have always desired, and i hope you create and chase new dreams in the process. i pray that you find the love youve always wanted, or u could possibly already have that love right now as u read this 🤪. also tell me if you got over tyler, why is it so impossible to forget him? and if you already forgot him and i just brought him up and made you remember him im sorry omg. but really, TELL ME ALL THE DETAILS. but ANYWAY, i need to study so, this is it. i cant wait to know you, naiya. see you later! with a big bear hug, naiya sitara s. uy, august 11, 2024. 15 years old.