A letter from Aug 10, 2024

tonight has been tough. the day was good, we held a yard sale with lexi, made 5 bucks, stayed up even though we were tired, picked up sawyer, went to finn’s work, drove around, went to finn’s and made bracelets and watched mlp, went to applebees, and i was dropped off. and Drop did i Do!!! hahaaa. lexi made me throw away my blade maybe a week ago? and now i regret it. i rummaged around my room for a blade of any kind and didnt find anything. i didnt feel any remorse or guilt until i sat and sulked in my failure. i dont have much hope for the future right now but if you get this, and read this, youre still here, right? thats cool. that’s more than i expect. if not, this is sad and i hope nobody has access to my emails. im 18 years old, its 2 am on august 10th and i am sitting on my bed in my brown ricky m shirt, my black basketball shorts, and the garfield socks ive been wearing for too long. depression is a ***** and it has consumed my every waking being. i feel like a shell and i feel like i am barely hanging on. but maybe you’re doing better. favorite song right now is black ice by maya hawke and strangers by ethel cain. i hope i love myself next year. 💚