A letter from Aug 10, 2024

Dear FutureMe, Hi! how are you? writing this in english even though we speak portuguese lol. first, I need to ask. are you even alive? I hope you are, and I hope you're safe and happy, and I hope that you're having a wonderful birthday. is dad still the person you hate? right now he's making me mad... he's being mean to mom, and he's SOOO annoying. are you studying? I hope you're having fun there. right now, I'm dating Carol. do you even remember her? the one with the ginger hair, we call her "cabelo de água de salsicha". I like her, a lot, actually. are we still dating? I don't think so. I'm planning on breaking up with her by the end of the year since we're going to different schools, but I actually love her very much. do you have someone to love you? I hope you do. I hope you still use this email, because I love this cringy *** email lol. and I want you to see this. you're not alone, and everything's gonna turn out just fine. what's your hair color? I hope it's marsala or black, or maybe it's still pink. I love pink, do you? do you have many friends? right now I have six friends, I believe. Brenno, Taylor (our siblings), Carol (gf), Duda, Júlya and Laís. I wonder if you're still a metalhead. I love metal, and my favorite bands are MSI and Korn, although I don't really listen much to Korn's songs anymore. do you remember that? are we still doing therapy? I don't think so, mostly because I hate going to therapy... but I hope that you don't, and that you love it. it's good for you. do you still not like going to church? Duda always tries to get me to go to hers, but I hate it. the day that I went to watch her baptism was bad, too. It was important for her, so I went. I had fun talking to Laís, though I didn't like seeing Thaissa. it was weird, you know why, or not, so I'm gonna tell you anyway: Thaissa is Carol's ex. she used to be our friend, but she became religious and just... forgot about us. that's not a problem at all, to me. I get it if she doesn't want to be friends with us and I respect her religion. I just wish she didn't ignore me, I feel bad when she does it. it's worse because Duda is becoming a good friend of hers, she probably likes Thaissa more than me. she's supposed to be my best friend.. and although Thaissa might steal her, I don't mind. not because I don't care about Duda, but because I respect her very much! she's a lovely girl with a beautiful smile, and if she wants to be best friends with my girl's ex, then so be it. I never actually meant to just.. steal Carol, actually. we began dating after me and Thaissa stopped being friends, so I don't think it's bad at all. anyways, not time for talking about my girlfriend's ex! I seriously hope that you're doing okay, or that your mental health is good. are we skinny? I don't think we are, but I hope we are. I'm insecure about my weight, it's so weird to think about that. but I hope we stopped being lazy and started to work out, but in a healthy way, not in the way I used to do. it's currently 3:51 AM, and I'm crying while writing this. I hope we are alive and well, seriously. I'm worried about you, I really am. please be okay. I love you, I love who you became. we are the same person, but I already see you as someone else. you're beautiful, I hope you can see that. I hope you heal every single scar you have left. I'm so sorry for the way I think of us right now, but I hope you don't think the same. I hope you're loving yourself, being yourself. I hope you're living the fullest, we are survivors. I hope dad stopped trying to make you depend on him; I actually hope that he's not even in our lives. I hope we leave Brazil, I hope we leave this life behind. I know you won't get to leave now, you just turned eighteen, but know that I'm praying that you'll leave soon enough. I don't pray, usually, but I'm praying for us. Happy birthday, from your 16 year old self!💗 (I added a picture of us, if you ever forget the way we used to look, lol!!)