Everything

Dear FutureMe, I guess all I have is questions- it seems so silly to offer you advice, though I think there are parts of this life right now that I hope you remember very vividly. Those purple crumbling flowers- like tissue paper- that fall from the trees on the sidewalk on the way to work, the way the wind moves through the leaves, and the leaves themselves, yellow scratchy fishes on the ground. That kind of thing. How on your way to work the men flirt with you, and it's a kind of nice thing, even if I worry that it makes me arrogant. I think, future self, you are not at the Y- hopefully you are in grad school. I don't know what your present- my future- holds. Right now I have the impossible desire to build a life with Mike and Caitlin, which seems alltogether insane, given Cait's resistance to me having a male partner, Mike's possible resistance to being in an open relationship, and that I've only known Mike for a short time. So we will see. Perhaps you will read this and cringe. Perhaps you've decided to become a nun. I hope you are continuing to be more honest with yourself. I hope you are building the community. I hope you are writing- please be writing! It all needs documenting, what the world was like, because it is so precious, and we are losing it. Call your mom a lot. Make peace with Dan. Be grateful. Exercise and eat lots of vegetables and less caffiene. Pray. Love. Love, be strong. I hope you have more peace than I do, future me Love Your past at 27. (ps- being 27 has been a really amazing thing, and this lack of peace feels like a true thing, a grappling, so it's not all bad. Just- i think I get too caught up in myself, and I hope you are not so much selfish as I am).