A letter from August 5th, 2024

Time Travelled — almost 2 years

Peaceful right?

Dear Robby Rain,
As you're reading this, I'm possibly a college student with nothing else to think but worry about her future. Know that you're not alone, many students are also concerned about's what to come. Breathe, I know it's hard, just breathe. Our life is not exactly what I planned for, it's not exactly what we thought of. Remember our younger self? she tried so hard to stand up for herself, she cried at night, and she had scars everywhere. Mentally and physically. Remember that when you look down, a younger version of yourself is sitting, hoping that someone would save her. Do you still keep the diary with you? She struggled, didn't she? I do not mean to scare you but you will also be in a battle, so much harder than before. I'm strong, so are you.
I'm currently an 11th grader, I have classes tomorrow. I'm quite nervous but hey, there's not a thing I can't handle. Life update? I have a cute green bag to bring, my id lace has pins, my notebook has designs. I haven't changed didn't I? My parents are doing well, I guess? Mom is working hard and dad is still a househusband which is pretty cool, lol. Sister is in 12th grade, I asked her what she's feeling right now and the only thing she said is "Saeyoung Choi” Well you could say that she's totally fine. (She hasn't had a good sleep in months) Please be there for her, I'm fr worried. How is everything so far? You're an adult now, responsibilities are handed to you. If I could be honest, I don't want to become an adult, I wanna stay young forever. Is it what it is.
Wanna talk about crush, the love of your life? I've been crushing over this guy for more than 7 months, his name is Emmanuel Ryko (15 yrs old) we've been talking, a lot of lambings, asaran, tampuhan, and stuff. I know he's not the ONE yet, I don't think you have time for a relationship since you're a college student, so this 16 year old me is cherishing this moment. Though if you ARE in a situationship or relationship, good for you. Don't let a man stress you out, only academics should. ACTUALLY, break up or end it with him. College life is not easy, you will stumble, fall, and be in a verge of giving up. Men will just get in the way, just like what I'm feeling right now I'm in senior high, I feel like I'm forgetting what's important.I'm sorry about the strand I took, I've not planned my future yet, I don't know what or which to choose when all I see is failure with myself, I'm trusting you with my stupid decision. I'm sorry college self, pero tiisin mo, we have to adjust, for our future.. for our family. How is it? What do you feel? Overwhelmed? You'll be okay, okay? I can't imagine how life would be in 2026, I don't think I want to imagine it at all. I'll enjoy my teenage years first because I can't turn back the time. For now, set things straight, don't give up, be a grown up, graduate, get a good job, and bumawi 'ka sa lahat, sa ate mo, sa inner child mo, and mas lalo na sa parents mo. I love you.
Huwag kang mabuntis, please. Tapusin mo pag-aaral mo. 

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