Hello (almost) 18 year old me (1)

Dear FutureMe, in just a few day I will be turning 16 but I still can't help but continue to think about the future and how my life will turn out after school. right now I am writing this in my bedroom at 12 am in the dark. I wounded how things will turn out, if I am even able to pull my life together and get into a good collage, get a good job, and maybe even have my first relationship? no rush though, I hope you are able to take care and think of your career over a relationship. not only do I hope that you are able to find a career that you actually care about but also be able to prioritize your health above all. as I am writing this I feel sooo worried for the future and feel as if I will fail every one around me and myself. I hope I will be able to prove myself wrong one day and be able to make myself proud. one day I hope that I look forward to seeing the future instead or constantly wishing to go back on the past (sorry I am so emo). the thing is that I'm not even as bad as I was during quarantine, being so sad and unhappy about everything and the world, but still sometimes I get that feeling again, even if it's only for a second. august 3rd 2024