A letter from Aug 01, 2024

Dear future me, It's me, again. I am currently under a lot of stress and uncertainty. Right now, I have put a lot of money 'on the line' to make something of my business. At this point, I'm just tired of constantly staying in the same place in my life. For years, I’ve had the dream of quitting my job, working for myself, and being an influencer, dreaming of having my own apartment and driving my Audi A1. Because of my own procrastination and self-sabotage, I'm still here, in the same spot. At the moment, I have decided to give it my all to make it work. I know it’s going to be incredibly tough, but I want this so badly. I have started posting videos on my own account, and I’m so scared of what people will think of me, especially my colleagues. I’m so afraid of receiving nasty comments and being seen as less. But I want this so badly that it doesn’t matter as much anymore. I hope that when you read this in the future, you’ve continued to pursue your dreams. I hope you’ve made peace with your past and that you can see your little sisters and brother, I miss them so. I hope you’ve quit that crappy part-time job. I hope you have your apartment and that you continue to choose yourself every day. I also hope that you’ve left me behind and become the person I now dream of. Even though we will always be one, I think it’s time to let me go. Me, with all the trauma, with my fear of failure, and the girl who has been mentally broken down to the point of being so insecure. Deep down, I know it’s going to work out for us to become that person. I can no longer blame your crappy 'parents' and hide behind that forever. I am responsible for every aspect of my life, and I am at this point now because of all the choices I have made. Work hard, be yourself, and don’t forget Allah and your prayers. Because right now, I am sometimes too greedy for my goal that I forget the blessings I currently have. don’t do this. Be grateful for every step you take in your development and, above all, enjoy it. A wrong investment is not the end of the world if you believe in yourself and never give up YOU WILL GET THERE. Promise me you haven’t given up? I am writing this with tears in my eyes because I’m so scared of the 'what if' scenarios. I hope you’ve removed that from your mind now and fully believe in yourself. It’s a lonely road, especially because your partner isn’t interested right now. I hope that has improved, and believe me, you’re just entering the successful decade in your life. Be yourself, believe in yourself, and work hard; hard work always pays off. I am proud of you. You always deserve it. Good luck, I truly believe in you <3