A letter from Jul 23, 2024

Hi future me, I hope you get to read this letter in the future. I am mentally struggling. I am fighting things internally right now that no one knows about. I am not necessarily suicidal and I do not want to hurt myself, but I feel I have no purpose or the desire to live. If it wasn't for the people I'd hurt, I do not mind being gone this second. I am going through a period of isolation right now. My mental health has not been great in my early 20's tbh. After college, I was able to move out to my nice apartment, buy my brand new car and all of that is great but none of those things brought me fulfillment. Although moving out of moms helped me a bit with my mental health and being drained, it hasn't gotten all that better. In fact, my mental health is worse than it has ever been. Being cheated on by someone who you gave your all to and you never expected to ever betray you is one of the worst things to go through. Although this has a little bit to do with my mental health, I have been struggling for a few months, but never to this magnitude. Struggling to get out of bed, struggling to do things I enjoy, struggling with the desire to take care of myself. I sure hope in a couple of years, I read this letter and acknowledge how far I have come. I decided to right this letter as I opened my computer to find help. I hope this letter finds you well and in a better circumstance.