A letter from Jul 21, 2024

Dear FutureMe, okay so uh hi, yk i really really reallyyyyy hate u leena, well i cant help it ik its mean im sorry but idk u didnt even do something so wrong to make someone hate u soo much, well uh.college ended no more wearing a uniform to school. thats overwhelming,still not much u can do about. "a bitter ending is better than endless bitterness" i hope u are prettier,slimmer,smarterDONNT ****** DISAPPOINT ME. I love u too much to not want u to treat urself good. uh not really in contact w the "friends" i made lol would have nightmares abt them and laugh w them in the daytime. i uh idk too much is happening and has happened but at the same time too little. im just yapping by now but i want to talk to u as much as i can cuz i really regret not doing this more. idk how u will be like wen u recieve this. no expectations tho lol. not in a bad way but like u r unique yk of suprises. i was just going through old **** idk why i think ive lived life fully wen there arent even enough memories like i want more to at least think ive lived yk? obv yku r the only person who knows. im in my sweet ******* 18 and lol its so not magical like in the movies but i wanna stay it forever idk... but there might be more to life yk i just dont want to continue live LIKE THIS i thought i just didnt wanna live but i wanna live better.i hope u r in a good uni and a good degree cuz i have no ******* idea also waiting for ur ******* 2nd years result **** U FOR NOT STUDYING ENOUGH why did u had to get ur dad in ur head(lol but that was my mistake tehe :3). i hope ur mental health is better and u get to hate me less. do enjoy life i hope u r smoking less. lol remember wen a kid said to u r u smoking? cuz u r smokin hot. **** wow okay so uh i really dont like my dad rn hes just unfixable yk no use but i hope the financial issues are less antagonizing. uh do loads of sketching and reading. i sooo love "California dreaming" rn its a song btw.. uh and i luv reading. june july ur usual basket case phase lmao. i wish i could use laconic speech much. anyways stop wishing start doing none of ur ******* friends r friends and uh hope u do find good ones and im so sick of guys yk like everyone seems the same just so fake and transparent. don't really have any interest in ppl i hope u find ur dream guy tho and a bike DO GET A BIKE. okay uh love u fix ur ******* insomnia and dont regret this okay cuz i am regretting the prev but THIS dont regret it cuz im not regretting it okay? yea bye, i really do love u tho. take care. and wen u read this get urself ice cream and watch "fallen angels" again also if u could... hug mama and abee and ur siblings. i miss everything and u will have more to miss and i hate that. i dont want u to die. i just uh dont know what to say everything is so ****** rn hope u r reading this in a hostel . uh so wa? i uh idk aaron taylor jhonson is so ******* hot. also wow having adhd and my mind blank rn woah- **** u goodbye. i hate goodbyes **** u and uh babai <3