A letter from Jul 14, 2024

Dear little Ayla, are you happy with the life you chose to pursue? I know it's been a while since you last treated yourself with ice cream and I know you're struggling right now with a lots of subjects and computations. Anyway, when was the last time you ate 3x a day? When was the last time you slept 10 hours a day? I know you're dealing a lot of tiredness and pain and I hope you will continue to strive and be a great person. 18 years old me is clapping for you right now. Why? At a young age, You experienced a lot of pain, blood, torture, sadness, and drained mentality. It's hard coping from a life that we didn't deserve. I am so proud of you for being this far from all the traumas in the past. Does he still haunting you every night? I hope he don't. I promise that I will do better to reach the person I am in the near future and I hope you're still alive! HAHAHAHAHA. Kidding aside. You know? I am so, so, so happy right now. With my life right now. I am surrounded with people who I know that loves me as a person and as a human. I am so proud of my teenself right now. I explored, bonded, and shared a lot of memories with my loved ones. Guess what? I'm single and I hope you're still single when yku read this. It's hard to imagine what will be my future is. I can't imagine my lifr without pursuing my not-so-dream career. so let me make a poem for you ti keep going: In the midst of the fogged mountains there I am searching my way out, Clouded thoughts, thunders of fears has led my life to drought. Searching the uncertain freedom and future that I behold Continuous journey, I am tired of my thoughts that my mind has told. Tall trees of pressure once tricked me to lost my way out There, I saw a light, I finally saw freedom or so I thought I was blinded by betrayal of my own mind Seeking validation I lost my self, my own feelings, I became blind But then I kept going, taking the path of unending journey Slowly getting back in track but don't hurry You, yourself, be gentle with it because it's not your enemy. Everyone's success doesn't define how will you be one Yours will come in time but don't rush We get to walk on different path that test our way of surviving and thinking how we will cope and get out of the situation. Please do not stress yourself wondering why you are not enough. Trust me, focus on yourself and your future because that's your biggest achievement in life. You are everything you wished for and you are the one building your foundation to grow strong and mature. I am so proud of you because you grew out from your toxic self. Please be gentle with yourself and never hurt yourself again. You are so precious. Ayla, I hope you will succeed in life. I wish you every good things in life. It's okay to be weak, get it? It's okay to cry. Please let out all the burden in your heart. Please loosen up a bit. Treat yourself ice cream and solo gala, please? Please, be better for your future self. Grow better, think wiser, and I wish all the success in you and peace of mind PROTECT. YOUR. HEART. AT. ALL. COST.