Just moved to Bhma

Dear FutureMe, Hey. Its me/you on the 20th August 2006. Rememeber sending this from futureme.org? I've been living with Richard for almost two months now - and in a few days i'll get my GCSE results. I'm really worried about them now - should have revised some fucking maths! I guess i'll find out in a few days - and then i'll find out if i'll get into Performing arts without having to redo maths. Things are tough. I didnt expect me and Richard to argue so much. We've had a fair few major fall outs with him locking me out and stuff - and one split so far. The split was over Alex. Do you still like him? At the moment i seem to be obsessing over him and its hard to think i'll ever get over him. My friends keep on asking me if i'm sure if i'm with the right one. I think i am - with Richard i have a whole future - but with Alex it would just be fun - or so i think. I hope you and Richard are still together. I can't imagine life without him. Everytime the subject comes up i break down into hysterical tears. As I said before - i'm about to start up at JMC. Hoping to start Drama school afterwards. I guess Birmingham School Of Acting is my only choice after that if i want to be with Richard. We've talked a little about it and basically if i go anywhere else we arent going to last :( Things are dull at the moment. With no friends, no college and nothing to do in the day. I've got a job at the cafe up the road 'Kims Cafe' 5-8 on Tuesdays and Thursdays giving me £30 a week but in no way will that support me - without Nanny and Grandads savings for me i'd be stuck. I'm starting to wonder wheather i should have left. I'm sure i'll get back into it once i'm not hanging round the house all day waiting for Richard to come home. :( I'm going back to Banbury this Wednesday - results on Thursday to pick up - meeting up with marc for a walk if the weather is nice and movies if its not. If Alex can come it would be lovely but marc says if he doesnt come then we can just spend our time talking about him :) Was lovely spending time with both of them at fairport. Definetly going again next year. Rememeber how much you loved it? hope you're still going - you'd be dumb not to. Just bought the black flute. It's still in the united arab nations on its way to me. Bit worried about having to learn all over again :( I guess by now you are either a fucking proffesional or you gave up long ago. Is the black flute even still working? was really cheap so i'm expecting it to break in a year. Maybe you brought a silver one? I guess you're sitting there remembering 'back in the day' getting all emotional and wishing you could show Richard (maybe Richards long gone?) But then youd be showing him hurtful stuff about how you feel for Alex. so you cant... ha! maybe you'll show Alex. Ely pointed out to me the other day that Alex wont stay single forever - and i was like 'yes he will!!!!' I would be really gutted if he did. But its too late even if i did want him now because i had to fucking move to Birmingham. I'm gonna try and round things up now. I'm getting myself all emotional and stuff :) aI wish the best for you. I hope that your life is everything i thought it would be. Don't forget how much you love to act. and how much you love Richard. Ever. If you're not with him now - go and fucking get him. Grr! Take care. Love and magickal fairies, Chloe