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Dear FutureMe,
hey there, I hope you're figuring this out...so tomorrow I will start classes at EMSOM It's 3am and I'm still awake because of my fkd up sleep schedule as u know, I'm kinda curious to get into this new experience and changing this ******* routine that consumes me here, still living with the guys at 43 sharing Rd's room with my bed in the floor, working at the same place for a year now (in a few days it will be a full year) with the quitting pressure or should I wait till we get released, it's a mess, it's mainly a routine now, nothing important other than the team changing, so we will see !and I have to mention the blue dodge I bought a couple of weeks ago, I like the feeling of driving, it sounds nice with the turbocharger and the cool exhaust noise but it seems like not so suitable for hard drives and daily work in general but I feel like I deserve some treats after these hard years, I still want to make some progress in life, I want a job in the same field of my MArch degree something stable and productive for me both financially and mentally, cuz I'm already heading towards 30's s...still feeling empty emotionally, like almost zero emotional contact after this relocation even tho I've met a lot of girls mostly from my place but still couldn't find anything close to what I'm looking for I don't know if it's me the problem or it's this new generation our generation, but whatever I just want to fill this void inside of me!well spiritually also I'm not doing that great, I've never been more farther from god like this, like I don't feel anything I'm not even sure anymore if it exists or no, religion seems like a total none sense to me... sometimes I wonder if there's a turn around from this or no, that's my destiny to be cursed and lost forever !about friends I have no friends other than the ones I live with R&B and N is the only friend i had met here he's a mess to, so paranoid and nervous but still a good person deep down, I know a lot of people but still have no real friends, still talk to BD my old university friend who I still relate with the most but I can give an honourable mention to AL, she's a good girl I don't know how she's in love with me but having a boyfriend at the same time still flirt with me on every single possible occasion, KH seems like a b*tch giving random mixed signals but she still young !
about family im not in touch as much as im used to be, I feel both my parents even my siblings like they're missing me for real but for me the flame is getting small and the gap wider day by day, even though I still care about them and still love them but between me and myself im still fighting for a better me, a version that I can live with for the days that I still have!
anyway let's wait and see what future holds for us!
hey there, I hope you're figuring this out...so tomorrow I will start classes at EMSOM It's 3am and I'm still awake because of my fkd up sleep schedule as u know, I'm kinda curious to get into this new experience and changing this ******* routine that consumes me here, still living with the guys at 43 sharing Rd's room with my bed in the floor, working at the same place for a year now (in a few days it will be a full year) with the quitting pressure or should I wait till we get released, it's a mess, it's mainly a routine now, nothing important other than the team changing, so we will see !and I have to mention the blue dodge I bought a couple of weeks ago, I like the feeling of driving, it sounds nice with the turbocharger and the cool exhaust noise but it seems like not so suitable for hard drives and daily work in general but I feel like I deserve some treats after these hard years, I still want to make some progress in life, I want a job in the same field of my MArch degree something stable and productive for me both financially and mentally, cuz I'm already heading towards 30's s...still feeling empty emotionally, like almost zero emotional contact after this relocation even tho I've met a lot of girls mostly from my place but still couldn't find anything close to what I'm looking for I don't know if it's me the problem or it's this new generation our generation, but whatever I just want to fill this void inside of me!well spiritually also I'm not doing that great, I've never been more farther from god like this, like I don't feel anything I'm not even sure anymore if it exists or no, religion seems like a total none sense to me... sometimes I wonder if there's a turn around from this or no, that's my destiny to be cursed and lost forever !about friends I have no friends other than the ones I live with R&B and N is the only friend i had met here he's a mess to, so paranoid and nervous but still a good person deep down, I know a lot of people but still have no real friends, still talk to BD my old university friend who I still relate with the most but I can give an honourable mention to AL, she's a good girl I don't know how she's in love with me but having a boyfriend at the same time still flirt with me on every single possible occasion, KH seems like a b*tch giving random mixed signals but she still young !
about family im not in touch as much as im used to be, I feel both my parents even my siblings like they're missing me for real but for me the flame is getting small and the gap wider day by day, even though I still care about them and still love them but between me and myself im still fighting for a better me, a version that I can live with for the days that I still have!
anyway let's wait and see what future holds for us!
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