A letter from Jun 03, 2024

hey, you're alive! are you glad? second letter for today, but i've put more of my thoughts in the other one, so my self jn 6 months will get them instead, sorry! two years, ah ****. i can't think that far anymore. up to now, i knew what would happen. i was in school, then studied, then master's. now i'm finishing it. ****, i forgot to ask our december 2024 self how the thesis went... i hope we still remember when you get this. maybe i should give us some confusion by having future us experience this non-linearly. i guess you'd know if i did that, probably. i can't commit to most things i wanna do or write for long anyway. in any case, what on earth are we doing with out lives? are we working? is it terrible? are we bad at it? how does our autism affect it? how much do we need to hide ourselves, and how much do we succeed with it? i'm scared. i hope you're less scared than i am. i hope you know a bit more than i do about how we're going to survive. who's tour favourite character? the one you're going insane about right now. mine is vash. i said that in the other email too, but he's occupying my brain as i write. ihope we're still us about our love for characters. we are, right? we always have been. if we're not, i hope it's because we don't need it anymore, but two years isn't even that long. do you love anyone? in real life, i mean. what i want to say is, are you in love? what do you think of love now? two years ago, we saw it very differently, and now we suffer for it, and alex suffers even more. i don't wanna get too much into asking you specifics, lest i admit to myself and to you too much about my current troubles. i hope you'll remember as much, because ****, our memory sucks. i hope we have someone. right now, i hope it's still alex, but i have no idea if you'll be in a place to agree with me. i hope it's gentle. i hope it makes us think that being alive is worth it. is grandma alive? i think not... if she isn't, did you react? as much as we'd think is appropriate, i mean. how's mum? are we a little better at sharing things with people? do we have any new friends? ****, i gotta stop pestering you with questions, and send more things about me now. can't help wanting to know, i guess, and you do know. alex is texting me and i wanna reply. until next time!