A letter from May 23, 2024

hey ella! icl i’m scared. i’m scared about failing tests, about embarrassing myself, that no one really likes me and what they say behind my back, about how long left i have with grandpa… but i can find comfort in knowing that there’s you! i’ll always have you, even when everyone else leaves, you can’t. i’m scared of having a miserable life, of never being happy, of never getting happier. because right now complete happiness seems impossible what with me being cinderella iykyk, but i just say that things are going to get better, i’ll escape everyone and make new friends. real friends. i’ll live in the south of france and sit happily by the beach! but the reality is that i’m not thick enough to think that i won’t wish i was younger, skinnier, prettier. so… will life atualy get better?? maybe i’m overthinking this and a 15 year old shouldn’t be contemplating the purpose of life but i just cant keep living everyday knowing that things might not get better. i might go to jail for all that i know!! ANYWAYS!! this got deeper than i thought it would, so sorry!! i’m looking forward to reading this after i’ve forgotten about it but until then, bye ella ;)