A letter from May 23, 2024

Dear FutureMe, **** you :) Alright, how the **** do you write a letter. I had Ideas but now I think you're gonna judge me?? Alrighty then. I hope you're still alive. I know it's been a problem in the past, or a struggle at least, and I'm worried that as I get older and people start trusting me with things more (like knives, and rope, and pills), I'll still be in the same or worse place mentally, and I won't be able to practice self-restraint. Today is pretty good, listening to rock and bossa nova intermittently is fun as hell, but we both know how quickly your mood can change, and how devastating it can be. I hope you get better. My favorite musical artists atm are Jake Daniels, JVKE, That Handsome Devil, AJR, Jhariah, Mother Mother, Laufey, I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME, Maneskin, Will Wood (and the Tapeworms), Bear Ghost, liana flores, Penelope Scott, and Rainbow Kitten Surprise. Lots of memories there for you, I'm sure. I hope you still share music with Oma and Daddy, it's fun. I hope you get to see Beyond the Spider-Verse. I hope I'm able to enjoy things without wanting to **** myself because I'm so rarely happy. Watch Ted Lasso again, its really good. Enjoy Stranger Things. Order a binder and (someday) get top surgery. Even if you don't want to be seen as a man, **** suck, and they've actively made you unhappy for years now. In the wise words of Marie Kondo, "This does not spark joy." I hope I'm not making a mistake cutting my hair, but it made me happy last time, and I think I'll look good. Try out a mullet, sometime. They look really good on others, I really want to know if I'll look good in it too. Oh, cosplay as Alex Fierro at some point with short hair, I think it'll be cool. School sucks, but most of the time you're passing, which means you're still good. You got a 1380 on your very first SAT, that's cool, I'm told. It's easier to compliment you, you aren't me, so I can more easily tell you that you're a cool person. Go do some volunteer ****, it'd be cool even if it doesn't end up working out. I don't necessarily want to /go/ to college, but I'd like to live somewhere else. I'd like to live, I think. Find some friends. Go kiss someone you like, or someone that will let you. I really want to do that, it seems nice. I /might/ be aromantic?? I'm not sure, maybe you will be. Or maybe not, who really cares. :P. You know, this is a school assignment, not a god**** diary. I probably shouldn't be spilling all our secrets like this, but oh well. You probably don't mind, if you still think like me. It's anonymous, so. Avoid Uncle Matt. He gives me the creeps. Keep an eye on WatermElon, I think she's just being corrupted by DeltaMath, otherwise she'd be really cool. F, A, K, S, and M are really cool, but I still don't know if they like me. F does I think. I think I'm just not the most important to them? Act more confident, for sure. R and AI are really neat. I like them, but I kind of hope AI doesn't like me like me. She's the best and I don't want to hurt her. She kind of reminds me of us when we were younger and more codependant- neither of us would benefti. A lot of the littler kids do. You'll probably get that as well, I imagine. I'm running out of things I want to say. You're probably really cool. I hope we get to read this. Hello *****! ***** hello! :). My favorit e-mail sign offs All blues, no clues/ Yeed my last haw/ All panic no disco/ Fighting my demons (they are winnign)/ From the end of my rope/ Straight up not having a baja blast/ If you'd like to reach out, don't/ Fragile boi fist bump/ On thin ice/ The horrors persist, but so do I/ Kachow/ Some regards/ Have a day/ Please hesitate to reach out/ Stressfully/ Shivering my last timber/ Live laugh toaster bath/ With all the eggs in my empty basket/ Deuces/ With an incredible amount of regrets/ Stay fresh cheese bags/ Fighting for my life/ Sent with considerably little confidence/ On the verge of tears/ Here comes the debt collector (also a very good Jhariah song)/ Sent from my LG smart refrigerator/ Sinisterly/ Worst regrets. Bye *****, hope I see myself become you.