A letter from May 14, 2024

Dear future Michael, Right now I am taking a tram to dance class. I thought that maybe this would be a good time to write to you since I got the reminder. I think that if I write this quickly, there will be less chance that I remember it, so here we go. I am not in the greatest place right now. I feel very much alone in this world and things that were making me happy in the past are now just an ordinary part of the day. I feel like this because of the breakup and all other shenanigans that happened with Elizabeth. Being around her and in a relationship required a lot of patience and strength and I am frankly very tired of it. I did not want to say it out loud. You know that I like to think of me as a knight that cannot be broken by anything. But I cannot escape the truth. I am a human being that makes mistakes and can be hurt actually very easily. So right now I am trying my best to move past her. I for example really want to text her and wish her good luck with her finals, but I won't do that. I promised myself that I will make distance between her and me and that is exactly what I am going to do. It actually really affected me and still does. I am way more sad and feel down than usual. I am not very exciting around my scout friends. I am really angry as well you know. At the world. Why does this have to happen to me - I ask. But there is hope. Maybe I am not invincible as I thought but I still think that I am the knight. And the knight will get through this. I will have to learn how to be volnurable and how to keep hope. Now I think that I will send this a little further in the future so I can ask you more things. First of all am I still dancing? Am I good at it? I hole that I improved my physique and dance skill. I trust you that you eat better and sleep enough. That's really important. How is school going for you? I hope that you gave your all to the psychology. And did you actually end up studying the special pedagogy? I hope that you found new friends in there. And what about the cafeteria? Are you still there? I hope so. And I hope that you learned how to make coffee as well. I hope that you are friends with that nice girl. She has been really nice to you. I hope you made her your friend. She seems like a good influence on you. And the scouts? I hope you passed on the leadership and that you have a free time now. I hope that the book that I am writing ended up making it and that you completed it. Whatever happens Michael I know you can pull through. You are the knight and it's okay to cry. The knight cries as well. He is a person too you know? And the only way to be actually strong is to accept your volnurability. It is the only way to connect to people. Don't forget that! Big love to you! Past Michael