A letter from May 13, 2024

Dear FutureMe, It’s 15 year old you. YOU ARE 18 TODAY! Happy b-day :) Right now it’s 22:41 and I’m sitting on my bed. My favourite colour is red, my favourite book is My Policeman, my favourite song is fine line, I don’t have a favourite subject, my best friend is L, my favourite flower is a sunflower, all my favourite quotes are from Harry Styles, I’m planning on getting a tattoo as soon as I turn 16, my favourite people (that I don’t actually know) are Harry and Louis and I’m scared of growing up. I am absolutely terrified. I just want to be a teenage girl forever. I don’t want this to end. I want to stay in this room, play the guitar, listen to harry, look at the posters on the wall, dance along my fav songs, read my favourite books. I want to be able to watch A and R grow up from up close, cuz I know I won’t be doing that since A will be 6 when I’m moving out and R 4. It makes me sad, because I know that they won’t really know what it feels like to live under the same roof as their sister. I’ll be the “sister that’s way older, so she doesn’t live with us.” I just want to be there for them. I want to protect them. I want to protect my sister from today’s society, because I’m now realising how f up it actually is. I hope that you’re happy rn. I hope that you’ve settled into your new home. I hope you don’t miss me too much. I know that you probably will, cuz you are way too emotional for your own good. Try to not look back too much, ok? I want you to actually live, instead of always living in the past. It’s something I find really hard. I hope you are finding your kind of people. People that really except you for who you are. People that don’t mind your excitement for certain things, don’t think that your laugh is too loud and don’t mind dealing with all the stress you have. I know people don’t really like me right now. Sometimes I’m ok with it, but sometimes it makes me sad. I just want people to like me, yk? I’m kind to most people. I know I can be a tad annoying sometimes, but that’s only when I’m with L. I just don’t see why people don’t really like me. If you haven’t found your people yet, that’s also ok. Give it time. OH I hope you passed your exams btw :) if not, know that I’m not disappointed at all. It had to go wrong somewhere. I know you find it hard to deal with stuff like that, but always remember that it eventually will be okay. It’s not the end of the world. I hope you still find joy in One Direction. I don’t think they will be reuniting soon or anything, tho. I do hope you went to another Harry and Louis concert. I hope Harry released some new music. I’m sure Louis has. I hope you stayed up all night waiting for their new album to drop. I hope you feel happy. I’m going to bed now, I think. I think I’ve said most of the things I wanted to say. I don’t want to tell you any of my dreams tbh, cuz I feel like I’ll find it stupid when I’m 18. Just, be kind to everyone, always choose love, believe in yourself, find your place and grow. We’ll be alright. Xx A