A letter from May 12, 2024

Dear FutureMe, you're stuck in a dead-end relationship (oh how you love to pick those) with an emotionally immature and unstable man. on paper, he's great. he's your best friend and you get along like chicken and oil. there's one problem. he doesn't want to marry you. he wants to do everything AROUND marriage, of course. he wants a house, and for you to bear his fat-headed kids and for you to decorate his home with your exquisite taste in books and interior design. but he doesn't want to marry you. this is due to many reasons, most of which you have agonized over for five years. i'll spare us the details. he doesn't want to marry you. like the dog-headed and delusional queen you are, you convinced yourself that you could communicate this problem away. (if i say it in 10,000 ways, he will see the merits of marriage and fully commit). boo. you know better than this. you're too prideful of a person not to see how this situation has brought you low. you also HATE this job. the work is terrible and you did that thing u always do where you try and cheat the system and get caught. you're embarrassed. it happens. (please quit. you won't be destitute and by GOD can you complain a thing to *****). this man won't marry you. if he does, it'll be by year ten, and you deserve so much better than to be subjected to someone else's whims on when you deserve commitment. if he does, you'll have bullied him into it. he will resent you. (he LOVES resenting people. it's the thing that makes you hate him the most). so many people around you are freely getting proposed to. either that happens for you, or you die alone. no other options will suffice. by the time you get this, i hope you've moved to DC (or somewhere, anywhere, really), traveled the world with your friends, and really found yourself. if a man is in your future, let it be someone who not only pursues but frightens you with how serious he is about creating a life with you. if there's no man, let your life be full regardless. please don't waste any more time. it's already your biggest regret. courtney